For the longest time, I dreaded the nightly ritual of putting my kids to bed. Don’t get me wrong—I adore my little ones, but after a long day of parenting that feels like 12 to 14 hours in a marathon, I’m ready to clock out. It’s almost like my children possess some sixth sense, detecting my exhaustion and ramping up their neediness right when I’m about to collapse.
Suddenly, they can’t stay focused on anything. The toys that lay untouched all day now seem irresistibly fascinating. They’re “starving” right at this moment, or they have an urgent desire to play with our cats. It’s baffling, really. They even manage to get lost on their way to the bathroom—how does that even happen? And just when you think they can’t possibly think of anything else, they declare they’re dying of thirst or need to finish a masterpiece that only comes to life at bedtime. It’s a classic case of bedtime procrastination.
All these distractions lead to a comically lengthy and chaotic bedtime routine. There’s a fair bit of nagging, some yelling, and maybe a few threats to take away screen time forever. Typically, I lean toward gentle parenting, but by the time the clock strikes 8 p.m., my patience is shot. It feels like a scene from “Lord of the Flies”—every kid for themselves.
However, once the storm of chaos subsides and everyone settles down, something magical happens. My kids have always wanted to snuggle, and those moments spent together, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, have become some of the most cherished of my parenting journey.
Bedtime snuggles turn into an opportunity for profound conversations. My little philosophers in pajamas ask the big questions: What is the universe made of? What’s God like? What are people doing halfway around the world? Why do some kids love broccoli while others can’t stand it? Those precious moments have led to some of our most engaging discussions.
Of course, it’s unfortunate that these deep chats happen when I’m utterly drained and ready for some time to myself. Yet, I’ve come to realize that I need to grab these fleeting moments while my kids are still little. I had a revelation: I could either continue to dread bedtime or embrace the amusing antics as typical childhood behavior and focus on the enchanting moments that blossom after we navigate through the frustrating parts.
This change in perspective has truly worked wonders. Now, instead of saying, “How many times do I have to remind you to brush your teeth?!”, I cheerfully say, “Hurry up and brush your teeth so we can snuggle!” Knowing there’s one-on-one time to ask their big questions makes my kids excited to hop into bed.
I usually set a limit on how many questions each kid can ask, preventing it from turning into an all-night affair. (Let’s be real; my little night owls could ask questions for hours!) But they don’t mind the limit too much. I’ve learned that quality trumps quantity, and those short bursts of quality time can be just as impactful.
Bedtime snuggles also provide an excellent chance to share stories from my life before kids. They love hearing about my childhood fears, awkward moments, and dreams for the future. We exchange tales, feelings, and quirks, giving them a glimpse of their roots and the people shaping their lives.
Instead of viewing bedtime as a chore, I’ve learned to see it as a time to bond, away from the usual hustle and bustle of our days. By focusing on the special connection we build during those moments instead of the logistical nightmare of getting them through their routine (seriously, why is it so difficult?), I find that bedtime is much less overwhelming and far more enjoyable—for all of us.
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