My parents had been trying for years to have me; in fact, it took a solid seven years after my sister was born. My mom meticulously tracked her temperature every single day during that time. I’m genuinely grateful for all that effort. I always knew I was wanted and loved, even though I made my grand entrance butt-first on April Fool’s Day. Sorry about that, Mom!
Growing up, I was surrounded by love and care from my mom, dad, and big sister. They pampered me and cradled me, with my mom firmly believing that babies should never have to cry. So, you can imagine how often I was put down in my first year! While I had the usual number of rules, I was never deprived of anything. This is pretty much how I envisioned life: me, blissfully meandering along, getting my way. And yes, I hardly ever cried.
A Wake-Up Call
Becoming a parent is a massive wake-up call for someone who felt secure in their life’s position. The moment that tiny, sweet-smelling baby boy was handed to me, my confidence took a nosedive. Wait, I’m the adult now? Really?
Even though I was living the adult life—married, employed, with a mortgage and a dog—I didn’t truly feel like a grown-up until I was responsible for another human being’s life. I was terrified! This little guy was so vulnerable, and it was my job to keep him safe. Suddenly, nothing was about me anymore, and I quickly realized that it would never be again.
The Challenges of Parenthood
There was an abundance of tears—mine and his. “How is it possible that a baby never cries?” I lamented to my mom one night, convinced she was pulling my leg. “Well, you might have cried sometimes,” she admitted, probably to spare my feelings.
And let me tell you, things didn’t get any easier as he grew into a toddler, started school, or when his sister arrived. I had to get my act together. I learned to be that grown-up mom who could whip up dinner while rocking a baby, often leaving the house without even glancing at my reflection. I was a mom—someone’s mommy—and they relied on me for everything: feeding, clothing, storytelling, and teaching them how to navigate life.
My kids were incredibly patient with me as I figured it all out. They would gently rub my hand when I shed tears over burnt toast and would surprise me with hastily cut-out hearts to reassure me I was doing okay at this mom gig. They reminded me with every sticky hug that perfection wasn’t the goal; trying was what mattered—for them.
Continuing the Journey
I’m still on this journey of growth. I don’t have all the answers when they bring home a poor report card or roll their eyes at me, or even when they drop a “Jesus Christ” in front of their grandparents. Parenting is chaotic, messy, and downright challenging. And I find myself making up for all the tears I didn’t shed as a spoiled child.
Yet, when I hold their faces and say, “You are amazing. Thank you for choosing me as your mom,” I hope they feel as cherished and wanted as I did. I can almost sense my own mom’s loving arms around me, never letting me go, and I’m slowly piecing this grown-up thing together.
Resources for Growing Your Family
If you’re curious about growing your family through home insemination, check out this post on home insemination kits and for more insights on navigating pregnancy, visit Women’s Health.
In summary, my journey from being a coddled child to a parent has been a rollercoaster of emotions, responsibilities, and growth. It’s a challenging path, but every step is filled with love and learning.