Sometimes My Toddler Curses, But I’m Not Too Worried About It

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There’s a strange mix of humor and disbelief when your little one exclaims, “What the heck is that?” while rummaging through a drawer. I’ve given my son quite a bit of freedom with his YouTube choices, and when he stumbled upon Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon’s “The History of Rap Part 6” on The Tonight Show’s channel, I was thrilled. As a lifelong JT fan, I was glad to see him enjoying such iconic performances. He watched that video on repeat, and at first, he couldn’t grasp much of the rap lingo, so I didn’t think much of it.

Then, he started picking up lyrics and belting out tunes like “Fight for Your Right” by the Beastie Boys. It was pure entertainment watching him attempt to sing along to Snow’s “Informer” and R. Kelly’s “Ignition.” We’d have mini duet sessions where I played along with him, relishing the ridiculousness of late-night television. But as he echoed lyrics that often make parents gasp, it became clear that my feelings about swearing are a bit different than most—I find it kind of funny.

Here’s a little secret: I think it’s hilarious when kids curse. A friend’s daughter went through a phase of swearing, and I couldn’t help but laugh every time. I always knew I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face if my own kid did the same thing. I’m usually pretty disciplined, but in those moments, I’m like Cam from Modern Family when Lily drops a curse word—just giggles all around. I wouldn’t be upset, especially if he used the words appropriately.

Now, I’ll admit that I do sprinkle swearing into my daily conversations. I’ve been doing it since I was a teenager. My parents were strict about cursing, so when I hit middle school, I let loose. I once slipped and said “crap” while chatting with a friend, and when my dad caught wind of it, I fibbed about what he heard. He’s not much of a cursor, but my mom is.

As I matured, I toned it down, but sometimes you just need to exclaim, “Forget this nonsense!” to really express yourself. Although I’ve tried to dial back my swearing since my son began to understand language, I recognize that some might be taken aback by a toddler shouting “crap.”

Personally, I don’t believe in shielding my child from reality. He’ll encounter all sorts of language in the world beyond our home, and I’d rather he not be shocked by it. I remember being a tween and wanting a certain album but couldn’t get it because of the parental advisory label—ironically, my mom had no issue with my listening to Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill, which also contains expletives.

I’ve always found the idea of Kidz Bop CDs sanitizing songs ridiculous. Why not just let kids hear the original versions? It’s not like they don’t exist on the radio, and trust me, they’re way better!

Interestingly, a recent study suggested that swearing may indicate higher intelligence. While I’m not here to boast about my smarts, I fully endorse that idea. I can articulate my thoughts using a wide-ranging vocabulary and throw in a well-placed curse word for emphasis. It’s all about knowing when and how to use it, like Samuel L. Jackson effortlessly weaving “motherf***er” into everyday conversation.

Just a couple of months ago, I overheard my son casually saying, “What the hell is that?” while exploring a drawer. I was so taken aback that I questioned if I truly heard him right. It wasn’t until he repeated it a few weeks later that I knew for sure. Instead of reacting with anger or punishment, I simply explained that some people might find that word inappropriate and suggested he reserve it for moments with Mommy. He seemed to get it and hasn’t repeated it since, but honestly, I’m not too worried if he does.

I plan to keep letting him enjoy his favorite “History of Rap” video and chuckle at his little missteps. I genuinely don’t think this will lead to any lasting damage. He’ll learn that there’s a time and place for swearing—right now, it’s just between him and me.

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In short, while I may not be the typical parent concerned about toddler swearing, I believe in a balanced approach—one that allows for laughter and understanding in parenting.