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Parenting
By Lisa Thompson
Updated: Dec. 2, 2020
Originally Published: April 9, 2017
I’ve spent a decade either pregnant or breastfeeding (yes, a decade!), and given that I don’t have ten children running around, most of that time has been spent nursing toddlers and preschoolers. After being in the trenches for a while, I can confidently say that breastfeeding beyond the baby stage is something that many people just don’t get. It’s not a common sight, and there are countless misconceptions swirling around about the experience.
Debunking Myths
First, let’s debunk a few myths. Contrary to popular belief, breastmilk doesn’t turn into water after a certain age; it continues to be nutritious. Breastfeeding toddlers and preschoolers isn’t merely “for the mom” either. And no, you can’t just “pump and put it in a cup” — by this stage, it’s about bonding just as much as it is about the milk. And let’s clear this up: it does not cause emotional trauma or equate to any form of sexual abuse (absolutely not, case closed).
What Is It Really Like?
So, what is it really like? Honestly, it’s a blend of everything — beautiful, frustrating, relaxing, and even downright funny at times.
This can be a wonderful time to reconnect with your little one. They come to you not just for a snack but to unwind and feel safe. Picture this: they’re playing on the floor, and suddenly they look up at you, sleepy and a bit teary-eyed, signaling it’s time to nurse. They’ll climb into your lap, and as they latch on, you might hear soft sighs as their eyes begin to drift shut. Sometimes this leads to a nap (nursing is often the only way my toddlers will doze off), or you might just share a quiet moment together, escaping the day’s chaos.
The Challenges
But let’s not sugarcoat everything — breastfeeding a toddler can be incredibly annoying, and we shouldn’t gloss over that. There are those moments when your toddler asks for “milkies” or “boobies,” and you’re just not in the mood. Their constant requests can really test your patience. And that’s perfectly fine. The beauty of nursing a toddler is that you can start setting limits. It’s a relationship that requires both parties to feel comfortable. You’ll notice that some days they want to nurse non-stop, while other times, the frequency decreases. Rest assured, those annoying phases are usually short-lived, just like every other stage of childhood.
Night Weaning and Milk Supply
Another important point? Nursing a toddler doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing situation. Many moms successfully night wean their little ones (though this doesn’t always stop them from waking up at odd hours, sorry about that!). Plenty of moms can take a break for a few nights without their nursing toddler, and generally, everyone handles it just fine, especially if the toddler is in caring hands.
You should also know that moms of toddlers aren’t typically overflowing with milk; they usually have just enough to meet their toddler’s needs. So, if you’re separated from your toddler, you likely won’t end up feeling engorged — usually. There are plenty of ups and downs in milk supply during the toddler years. Here’s a tip: if your supply seems to dip, your toddler can easily boost it back up by nursing more — or as some of us like to say, “like a newborn.”
Nursing Preschoolers and Older Kids
As for nursing preschoolers and older kids (think three years and up), if you reach this stage, expect a different experience than those toddler years. Typically, you’ll be nursing at nap and bedtime, maybe in the morning, and occasionally during the day. Most of the time, it happens at home, which is why so few people actually see breastfeeding at this age. This stage also provides great opportunities to set boundaries.
Honestly, nursing during the preschool years might just be my favorite time. As my kids approach weaning, each nursing session feels a bit bittersweet, knowing it won’t last forever. We can actually chat about breastfeeding (one of my preschoolers was surprisingly fascinated by the science of lactation!). It’s a special time of day — a tiny remnant of babyhood we cherish until we’re ready to let it go. Weaning at this stage rarely requires much effort, and there are virtually no hormonal upheavals.
Making the Choice
Of course, how long you breastfeed — or if you breastfeed at all — is a deeply personal choice only you can make. For those curious about breastfeeding past 12 months, know that it can be a mix of joyful, cuddly, frustrating, and peaceful moments all rolled into one. For moms who do it, it feels completely normal, much like any other part of parenting. And when it finally comes to an end, you’ll genuinely miss it. Yes, really — a whole lot!
Further Reading
If you’re interested in learning more about related topics, check out this post on advertiser disclosure and visit Make A Mom for expert advice on fertility. For more resources, consider exploring this excellent guide on pregnancy.
Summary
Breastfeeding a toddler is an experience that blends joy, frustration, and bonding moments. It’s a relationship that evolves as both mother and child grow, and while it can be annoying at times, it offers unique opportunities for connection and affection. The journey continues through preschool years, leading to bittersweet moments of weaning. Ultimately, the decision on how long to breastfeed is personal, but the experience is often cherished.