When things go awry, the different facets of a relationship come to light. It can be a mix of painful and enlightening experiences. Relationship challenges don’t spell disaster; rather, they offer a chance to delve deeper into your own self, your partner, and the essence of love. These hurdles can enhance intimacy by compelling you to engage with one another and cultivate the skills that fortify your bond. In fact, your most joyful moments can often follow your toughest trials. So, when you face a challenge, lean into it, and ask what lessons it holds for you—let it be a catalyst for transformation.
Here are 13 effective strategies to bolster your marriage (some ideas were inspired by Nathaniel’s Relationship Revival System—he really has a knack for this).
- Spend Time Together. When emotions run high, the instinct might be to retreat, but that only widens the gap. Healing requires connection. Forget the laundry for a moment and teach the kids to fend for themselves at bedtime, or whatever it takes to carve out time for each other.
- Avoid Over-Discussing Problems. Sure, addressing issues has its place, but first, focus on connecting. Talk just to talk! Living in your problems won’t solve them; building up relationship skills that promote closeness will.
- Give Undivided Attention. Before sharing a space, couples often prioritize date nights and special moments. Yet, once you cohabitate, it’s easy to take that time for granted. Set aside a dedicated period each day—shut off the screens and immerse yourselves in each other’s company. Trust me, there’s nothing more vital than nurturing your relationship.
- Explore Each Other’s Worlds. My partner and I enjoy cozying up with a shared screen, browsing house listings or memes. Sure, zoning out on separate devices is nice, but sharing one is unexpectedly fun and brings us closer.
- Make Eye Contact. Yes, really look into each other’s eyes—it’s a powerful, wordless way to communicate. It might feel a bit awkward, but this soul-gazing can create an intimate bond.
- Show Affection. Love is an action word, and expressing it makes you feel it. Hold hands, kiss, and engage in those slow, meaningful moments of intimacy.
- Embrace Togetherness. If you’re facing tough times, thoughts of life without your partner can be daunting. This perspective can help you appreciate one another more and realize that the closeness you seek can often be cultivated right where you are.
- See Your Partner as a Gem. Look at your spouse with fresh eyes and remember what initially drew you to them.
- Be a United Front. Running a household can feel like divide and conquer, which is practical but can lead to disconnection. When things get tough, stay close. My partner and I often make chores fun by playing rock-paper-scissors for diaper duty—it’s a silly but effective way to share the load.
- Be Considerate. Instead of getting frustrated when my partner needs downtime after work, I remind myself of the stresses he faces. He, in turn, acknowledges my need for little gestures of love, like leaving notes around the house. By striving to understand each other’s experiences, we minimize feelings of being slighted.
- Trust in Each Other’s Love. It’s easy to feel underappreciated during rough patches. When we trust in each other’s love, we recognize that our moods and imperfections aren’t reflections of our feelings for one another.
- Communicate Your Needs. Rather than sulking about chores not being done, I’ve learned to ask directly for help. Instead of saying, “You never help me!” I now say, “Hey, could you take out the trash?” It feels good to get the support I need, and he appreciates knowing how to make me happy.
- Honor Your Truth. Share your honest feelings in the moment. If my partner says he wants to sleep in, instead of just going along with it, I express my feelings as well: “I want you to rest, but I feel a bit lonely with the baby all morning.” This honesty paves the way for a more connected and understanding relationship.
As the poet Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” I remind myself of this quote during tough times—it underscores the notion that struggles can lead to profound transformation. Sometimes, things need to unravel so they can be rebuilt, stronger than before.
For further insights on relationship dynamics, check out this blog post. If you’re considering the journey of parenthood, this resource offers great guidance. For those interested in home insemination, Make a Mom provides top-notch information on the subject.
Summary
Navigating marriage can be challenging, but by focusing on connection, understanding, and communication, couples can transform their relationship. Simple actions like spending quality time together, acknowledging each other’s needs, and trusting in each other’s love can lead to a stronger and more fulfilling partnership.