After five consecutive days of severe sleep deprivation, I staggered into Starbucks, resembling a zombie who had partied a bit too hard. I ordered a triple venti caffeine bomb and impatiently waited by the counter for my drink. When the barista finally called my name, I snatched the cup from her and downed half of it like a college student at a rager. If you’ve ever had to tackle mornings with a toddler and a baby, you totally get it.
Aaaaaah, sweet caffeine.
As that first shot of espresso coursed through my veins, the haze started to lift just a little. I was beginning to feel human again, so I decided it was time to tackle the day — no, scratch that — it was time to own the day! Fueled by caffeine, I grabbed my keys and made my way to the parking lot.
Brace yourselves, world! My trusty minivan was parked right where I left it. I fumbled to open the door, balancing my purse, coffee cup, and a drink I had bought for my husband. I sank into the driver’s seat, placed my drinks in the cup holders, and tossed my purse on the floor. As I flipped down the mirror to check for any stray chin hairs, I was disappointed to find the overhead light was out.
Hmm. Didn’t even know that could happen…
Suddenly, a strange smell wafted through the air. I glanced behind me, half-expecting to see yesterday’s forgotten lunchbox baking in the sun. Nope, no lunchbox in sight. Oddly enough, I also noticed that the second car seat was missing.
That’s strange. I could’ve sworn I had two kids with me this morning. shrug
Maybe it was the sunlight playing tricks on my sleep-deprived mind, but I began to question whether I was losing it. The leather interior looked… black? Mine is tan, right? At least, I think it is.
Maybe I need more coffee. Or maybe I’ve had too much. Or — OH NO — maybe I’m having a genuine meltdown.
Panic set in, like a scene from a horror flick. You know, the one where the innocent homeowner realizes something’s off because strange people have been sneaking in and rearranging things? Yeah, that was me.
Odd smell. Missing car seat. Suspicious interior.
But folks, I definitely got into this car with my keys! I clicked the button and everything!
I shoved the key into the ignition and turned it.
Nothing.
I tried again.
Still nothing.
That’s when I spotted a wallet-sized photo taped to the dashboard.
That kid was absolutely adorable and looked just like my son… except he wasn’t my son.
Mardi Gras beads dangled from the rearview mirror, and that’s when it hit me: Holy moly, I’m in a stranger’s car!
I’m sitting in their front seat, with the door closed! I’m using their cup holders!
What do I do?!
The obvious answer would be to jump out of the car and make a run for it. But after placing two Starbucks cups in the holders and tossing my purse on the floor, that wasn’t an option. I panicked, frantically shoving items back into my purse while trying to escape unnoticed.
Gum, in! Water bottle, in! Tampons, in! Sippy cup, in! Let’s get outta here!
I ducked out of that strange minivan and dashed across the parking lot, glancing back every few steps like, act natural, act natural. I finally reached my identical minivan without being spotted by a single soul.
Phew.
I balanced my cups on the hood of my van and rummaged through my purse for the keys when… oh my goodness!
You guessed it.
By this point, the stranger was getting into her minivan. I had to run over and explain — talk about embarrassing — but “Hi, I just sat in your van thinking it was mine, and I left my keys behind.”
Now here’s the kicker. She burst out laughing, genuine, belly-shaking laughter.
Clearly, she had seen me in her car but couldn’t decide whether to call the cops or just enjoy the show. Lucky me (I think?), I managed to get out just before she concluded I was trying to steal her vehicle.
Thank you, Jesus, I almost landed in jail that day. Sleep deprivation nearly landed me behind bars.
Instead, I made a new friend, a good-humored mom with an adorable little boy the same age as mine. And bonus? She has great taste in minivans.
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In summary, I nearly found myself in a sticky situation due to sleep deprivation and a mix-up with my minivan. Luckily, a laugh and a new friendship came from it, along with a reminder to stay alert, especially when juggling the chaos of motherhood.