My one-year-old recently took her first steps—well, she did for about five minutes before deciding that running with her arms flailing, and a high-pitched scream was far more her style. She zooms through life like a pint-sized tornado, and I’m constantly swooping in to snatch her away from danger, especially when she gets too close to the road. Just last week, she was joyfully racing down the sidewalk when she tripped over some uneven pavement. A scraped knee and a bump on her forehead later, I knew that cry all too well: the one that says, “I’m in pain!”
In hindsight, I could have prevented that tumble. I could have kept her on the grass. Or maybe I should have just kept her inside. I could have clutched her little hand, keeping her safe and sound. Sure, she wouldn’t have the bumps and bruises, but she also wouldn’t have enjoyed the freedom of exploring the world around her. Little scrapes and bruises are just part of being a kid—especially when you’re so excited that you forget to watch your step.
Lately, it feels like we’re bombarded by news of tragedies—violence, accidents, and chaos everywhere we look. It’s only natural to wonder how we can shield ourselves and our loved ones from harm. We convince ourselves that we are vigilant, safe, and that our love for our families could never put them in jeopardy. Yet, that fear can twist us into something ugly.
I see the vitriol directed at parents who dare to let their kids roam a little free. The blame cast upon those who didn’t keep their children strapped in tight or who allowed their little ones a moment of independence. It seems like not having the ability to juggle all aspects of parenting perfectly has become a crime. Who said you could have kids without being a superhero?
We often fail to recognize that any child—at a zoo or a theme park—could be ours. Our fear can turn us into judgmental monsters who forget our own imperfect moments when we’ve been distracted by a text or engrossed in conversation. We act as if our love for our kids guarantees their safety.
We are a society that criticizes helicopter parenting, yet we’re equally quick to call Child Protective Services if we see a 9-year-old playing in their own yard without a safety net of adults hovering nearby. Let’s face it:
- You might hover too much.
- You might not watch your child closely enough.
- You might let them watch TV.
- You might use a toddler leash.
- You might be stressing them out with too many activities.
- You might be coddling them.
- You might be expecting too much.
- You might be feeding them things that make others gasp in horror.
No matter how you’re raising your kids, someone out there believes you’re doing it all wrong. Fast forward ten years, and your children will likely be rolling their eyes at you, and in twenty years, they may need therapy to process it all. In thirty years, they’ll be pointing fingers at you while doing it all wrong in someone else’s eyes.
God forbid your parenting misstep gets broadcasted for all to see, dissected by every self-proclaimed parenting expert with a keyboard. It’s all too easy to judge another parent when you have the privilege of being your own harshest critic.
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In summary, we’re all just doing our best in this chaotic world of parenting. Let’s give each other a break and embrace the messiness of it all.