“I owe you an apology. I judged you the moment I saw you walk in with your kids, and I just had to come over and say something.”
Last weekend, I strolled into a restaurant with three of my little ones in tow. I was rocking an off-the-shoulder top, skinny jeans, open-toed wedges, and a pop of lipstick—apparently, to some, that screamed “not a dedicated mom.”
At 33, I’m the mother of four kids under 9, and trust me, between pajama pants and workout gear, my everyday style doesn’t usually involve much glam. But that evening was different. My husband had planned a special dinner for our youngest, so I decided to take the older three out for a meal and some arcade fun afterward. I figured it was worthy of dressing up a bit.
As we entered the restaurant, I noticed a few sideways glances, but that’s par for the course when you’re herding kids. Luckily, they were on their best behavior, blending in with the vibrant atmosphere of laughter and arcade sounds.
It seemed a woman had already formed an opinion about me based solely on my appearance. I can only guess what she thought—perhaps she assumed I was more focused on my outfit than my little ones. But maybe she caught sight of me scooping my 4-year-old onto my lap when she wanted closeness. Or perhaps she saw me being goofy with my kids while we waited for our food, or when we bowed our heads in prayer before digging into our meal.
Her perspective might have shifted as she noticed the little arms wrapping around my neck and hands playing with my hair, and maybe she even saw me darting between arcade games, truly embracing my inner child.
Then came the tap on my shoulder and her heartfelt words: “I’m sorry. I judged you when I saw you walk in with your kids…and I just had to apologize.”
I took a moment to absorb the weight of her admission. Instead of probing her further, I simply placed my hand gently on her arm, smiled, and replied, “Thank you. That really means a lot. You didn’t have to say anything, but I’m glad you did.”
She returned my smile and said, “No, I needed to. You’ve changed my perspective tonight.” I leaned in for a quick hug before dashing off to wrangle my kids again.
I didn’t catch her name, and she may be a stranger I’ll never see again, but she taught me an important lesson too.
In this wild ride of motherhood, there’s no time for judgment or assumptions. What we always have room for, however, is compassion and understanding.
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Summary
A mother recounts an unexpected encounter with another mom who judged her based on appearance. After a heartfelt apology, they both learned the importance of compassion in motherhood.