A New Study Reveals Many Parents Are Secretive About Co-Sleeping

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Co-sleeping might be more widespread than you realize. In our age of parenting confessions, it’s easy for parents to admit to a myriad of “sins”: “I let my kid binge-watch cartoons,” “I’m thrilled to drop them off at daycare,” or “I secretly enjoy it when they refuse to wear a coat and get chilly.” These admissions often lead to shared laughs and camaraderie among parents. However, one topic that tends to be swept under the rug is co-sleeping.

In her book, Co-Sleeping: Parents, Children, and Musical Beds, Professor Anne Thompson from the University of Iowa interviewed 51 co-sleeping parents and discovered that nearly half of them were tight-lipped about it with family and pediatricians, largely due to the stigma attached. Although this is a modest sample size, it wouldn’t be surprising if this pattern held true for many families who share their beds.

The American Academy of Pediatrics warns against co-sleeping, citing its links to sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and other sleep-related dangers. Yet, for every cautionary tale, there are just as many proponents of the practice. For instance, Harvard professors Sarah and Robert Greene pointed out in an op-ed for the L.A. Times that in Japan, bed-sharing is the norm for parents and infants, coinciding with one of the lowest infant mortality rates globally and a SIDS rate about half that of the U.S.

The notion that sharing a bed with infants is hazardous isn’t universally accepted. It raises the question: why is a practice embraced by many cultures around the world dismissed in America? Professor Thompson noted, “U.S. parenting culture is driven by the notion that if anything goes awry with your child, you’re to blame.”

While the debate around co-sleeping predominantly concerns infants, older children who share a bed with their parents often face their own set of stigmas. Articles like “The Risks of Co-Sleeping with Older Children and 6 Tips to Stop It” from The Huffington Post link bed-sharing to issues like diminished self-sufficiency, low self-esteem, marital strain, and even the psychological well-being of parents. No wonder some parents choose to keep this practice under wraps!

If bed-sharing isn’t your cup of tea, that’s perfectly fine! We’re not here to convince you otherwise. However, if you’re an advocate for co-sleeping, embrace it! After all, it doesn’t equate to child neglect. Observing other cultures can offer fresh perspectives on the parenting choices of your friends and family — and who knows, you might just discover that bed-sharing doesn’t necessarily compromise a child’s safety.

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In summary, co-sleeping remains a controversial yet common practice among parents, with many feeling hesitant to admit it due to societal stigmas. While debates continue over its safety, it’s crucial to recognize that parenting choices vary widely across cultures and families.