Long opens up about the fury she experienced when her child faced exclusion at school.
As parents, one of our biggest anxieties before sending our little ones off to school is whether they’ll make friends or end up feeling left out. However, it’s the sheer, uncontrollable rage we feel when other kids mistreat our children that catches us off guard. Jamie Long understands this all too well, and she’s sharing her insights.
In a candid chat with Family Magazine while promoting her new comedy series, “Playground Chronicles,” airing Wednesdays on IFC, Long reflected on her daughter Mia’s preschool days. “I thought I spotted the beginnings of mean girls in her class. These adorable, confident little ones were drawing attention, while Mia was left shouting ‘Catch me! Catch me!’ and they just ran past her. I thought, ‘I might need therapy for this rage. No way!’”
Long chose to step back from the situation, knowing that intervening would only complicate things for her daughter. Still, the urge to act is incredibly strong. Oh, how we wish we could do something!
We like to believe we’ve matured and wouldn’t engage in a serious dispute with a child, yet the feelings that arise in these moments are fierce and deeply personal. I once had a seven-year-old adversary: during second grade, a girl lifted my daughter’s skirt for the class to see her underwear and laughed. I volunteered in that classroom weekly, and I can honestly say I wished ill upon that little girl every time I saw her. Of course, I never acted on those feelings, or I wouldn’t be writing this from a cozy café, but let me tell you, I was barely holding it together.
Comedian Louis CK has a hilarious bit in his special, “Live At The Beacon Theater,” where he discusses a boy in his daughter’s class whom he despises “with a grown-up, preoccupying hate.” When he saw this boy (whom he dubbed Jizanthopus) bothering his daughter at recess, instead of rushing to her defense, he thought, “Let him do something first. I want a reason.” Yes, because while you can’t jump into action for every little slight, there’s a primal urge to protect your child, and sometimes you just want a justification to unleash your frustration.
As Long put it in her interview, “It’s amazing how childlike my feelings are… It’s just this bewildering, juvenile response that’s ridiculous.” It’s as if you’re transported back to those school days when you faced bullying or mistreatment. Witnessing your child go through similar experiences triggers that protective “Mama Bear” instinct — a blind, irrational fury that consumes you. Even when you know that the little rascal bothering your cub is just being a kid, you can’t help but feel the urge to roar and defend your own.
Seeing your child in pain is one of the toughest parts of parenthood, and figuring out when to step in versus when to let them handle it on their own is a tricky balance. If you find yourself giving a side-eye to a kindergartner during snack time, you’re not alone.
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In summary, the intense feelings of anger parents experience when their children face bullying are completely normal. While it’s crucial to protect your child, knowing when to intervene can be a challenge. Jamie Long’s reflections resonate with many parents who have felt that instinctive urge to defend their cubs, reminding us that we’re not alone in this struggle.