After having a partial hysterectomy just nine days ago, and leaving my ovaries intact while saying goodbye to my cervix, uterus, and Fallopian tubes, I can honestly say it felt like my insides were put through a blender. You know that feeling when you’re so bloated you think you might float away? Yep, that’s me right now.
For the longest time, I was consumed by my feminine struggles—excruciating periods, bathroom emergencies that could rival a horror film, and cramps that knocked me flat. My monthly visitor was a marathoner, dragging on for up to two weeks. Despite being on birth control, I often found myself starting my “time of the month” mid-pack. I was exhausted, worn out, and done with it all.
When my OB-GYN floated the idea of a hysterectomy, I laughed out loud—two boys and a stepson were enough for me, thank you very much! But after some thought, I realized it was time for a change.
I dove into research on laparoscopic hysterectomies and found glowing reviews about reduced recovery time, pain, and scarring. I even picked up a book on pre-surgery prep and recovery. Women on forums raved about living in “period-free paradise.” Who wouldn’t want that?
Before the surgery, I made sure to eat well, exercise, and meditate, repeating mantras like, “I will have a safe surgery and heal quickly.” I even drank bone broth and green smoothies like a health guru. But deep down, I was still anxious.
Despite my prep, I was in for some surprises post-surgery. My doctor assured me that, barring complications, I could walk and pee afterward and might even go home the same day. Some women felt fantastic after just a few days. I, however, was not “some women.” Reality quickly set in.
Here are some things I wish I’d known to better prepare myself:
- Prepare for the Shakes: You might wake up from surgery trembling like you just ran a triathlon. When I came to, I heard them saying, “Let’s give her some Demerol for the shaking.” The calm that followed was heavenly. And yes, I might have complimented the nurse on her looks a bit too much.
- Balloon Belly: You’ll be filled with so much air, you could probably inflate a small party of balloons. This gas is from the surgery, and it takes time for your body to absorb it. Pain meds become your best friend.
- Peeing Takes Ages: You may find that peeing feels like a full-on expedition. I ended up in a variety of positions with my husband lifting my feet off the floor—bless him.
- Coffee is Key: If you’re a coffee lover, grab some caffeine ASAP to avoid a caffeine-withdrawal headache. Trust me, it can escalate into a migraine fast.
- Pain is Normal: You might feel discomfort for a while. It’s okay—nothing’s going to fall out, even if it feels like it.
- Eating Might Hurt: Eating anything substantial could lead to stomach cramps. I stuck to broth and smoothies for a while. Plus, I lost 4 pounds in a week—yay?
- Pooping Woes: Let’s get real—this was the worst! I was constipated and tried everything, from stool softeners to enemas. My husband practically turned into a bowel remedy shopping expert.
- You Might Look Pregnant: Expect some bloating and inflammation that could make you look like you’re four months along. Loose-fitting clothes will be your best friend.
- Get Support: Seriously, find someone to help you through this. My husband was my rock, helping me with everything from meals to showers. He deserves a medal for his patience and care!
I removed parts of myself that had been a source of pain and frustration for far too long. Now, nine days post-surgery, I feel more like myself, even with some lingering discomfort. I even marveled at my healing body in the mirror, reflecting on how miraculous it is.
If you’re facing a similar journey, remember to be gentle with yourself. Your recovery will be unique, and it’s okay to ask for help and take it easy. Whether you find yourself on the “some women” spectrum or not, your story will be your own.
For more insights on home insemination, check out our other post on intracervical insemination. And if you’re curious about artificial insemination options, Make a Mom is a great resource. For more information about IUI success rates, visit WebMD.
Summary
A hysterectomy can be an emotional and physical journey. Expect surprises during recovery, from shaky post-surgery spells to unexpected bloating. Embrace the healing process, seek support, and remember that every recovery is unique. Your body is doing incredible work—acknowledge it!