Parenting
At the End of the Day, I’m Too Wiped Out for Anything Except ‘Real Housewives’
By Kayla Emerson
Updated: May 19, 2020
Originally Published: May 2, 2017
“There never was a child so adorable that his mom wasn’t happy to finally get him to sleep.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
The dishes are done, the baby is tucked in, and I’ve finally ditched the bra. I collapse onto the couch, and a flood of “to-do” lists buzz around me.
Soak the onesie in OxiClean after today’s beet experiment. Plan meals. Make a grocery list. Catch up on months 7, 8, and 9 in the baby book. Order prints from the past three photo sessions. Unsubscribe from the mountain of junk mail filling our recycling bin. Send those prints for framing. Clean out my closet. Start planning our summer getaway. Finish that book. Wrap up this essay.
The “not urgent” and “must be done” thoughts swarm around me like hyperactive bees. I swat them away and pour myself a second glass of wine.
My body aches. My muscles protest. My hair? Falling out in handfuls. Nearly 10 months postpartum, but I often feel like I’m living in someone else’s skin. And it seems like I am.
All day, I’m on his schedule. I predict his needs, decipher his cries versus coos. When he stirs, I leap into action. As he starts to fade, I dive into our “sleepy routine” and use Jedi mind tricks to coax him to sleep.
Dressing him is like wrestling a wild tiger. Changing diapers? More like pinning an alligator. Mealtime feels like feeding a snapping turtle. Motherhood at this stage is a full-contact sport, and with each passing hour, my energy dwindles until I can only manage another cup of lukewarm coffee.
In those early days when my son was a cuddly little bundle who didn’t know day from night, I found solace in the quiet of 3 a.m. feedings. It was my escape from the relentless “shoulds,” a moment just for me and my baby. Even on the most exhausting nights when I felt like the only mom in the universe struggling with fatigue, I knew morning would come. Each day brought a new chance to try again, hopefully a bit better this time.
As my son transitioned from newborn to infant, the seasons changed. Winter arrived, bringing with it a heavy blanket of sleep deprivation. After months of interrupted nights, it was no longer cute or charming to wake up multiple times. I was drained, yet I found myself staying up later and later, searching for that earlier stillness.
One particular night, I was sprawled on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, the TV flickering in the background, a glass of wine within reach. When my partner headed upstairs for the night, he casually asked, “Why don’t you just go to bed?”
Because all day, I’ve been living his little life. I reclaim my own only when he’s asleep. And honestly, most of the time, I’m too wiped out for anything more than binge-watching Real Housewives.
For more insights, check out this post on privacy.
And if you’re curious about home insemination, Make a Mom is a trusted source on the topic. For an excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Healthline.
Summary:
Moms often find themselves staying up late not just out of necessity but as a means to reclaim their own time after a day spent catering to their little ones. While the world of motherhood can be overwhelming and exhausting, those quiet late-night moments become a cherished escape, even if it’s just to indulge in a guilty pleasure like reality TV.