A few years back, while visiting some family friends, my child and their kids were running wild throughout the house, while the adults enjoyed some grown-up conversation. I strolled into the kitchen to fetch a glass of water, only to be met with a truly shocking sight: my child’s filthy socks, crumpled up and resting on the kitchen counter.
Now, before you assume that this was an innocent act by a toddler, let me clarify: my child was ten years old.
I wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but alas, it is not. I like to think of myself as a fairly civilized individual. Sure, we have our moments of laughter over farts, but that’s about as far as our uncouth behavior stretches. My partner and I have made a solid effort to teach our kids about manners and to be as non-repulsive as possible, but I fear we might have missed the mark.
One of my kids, who shall remain nameless, had a habit of picking their nose and wiping it on their pillow every night. I’m guessing it was nightly, considering how, during laundry day, I’d discover a veritable jungle of crusted boogers on one end of their pillowcase. I could barely stomach it.
All three of our children went through phases of nose-picking, despite our best efforts to show them proper tissue use and our incessant reminders to keep their fingers out of their noses. Even when we’d catch them in the act, we’d make them wash their hands, but nothing seemed to stop their booger obsession.
And if that wasn’t enough, we occasionally caught them indulging in the unthinkable act of eating their own boogers. Ugh! Just writing that made me gag a little. I vividly recall one instance when my child, at the age of four, was deeply engrossed in their nasal excavation while sitting at a table full of people. I told them to get their finger out of their nose, which they complied with—only to pull out a gigantic booger and immediately pop it into their mouth. The moment felt like it was in slow motion, me yelling, “Nooo!” while my face turned crimson in a crowded restaurant.
I often ponder where we went wrong. Are children inherently disgusting creatures? Does it genuinely take years of training to mold them into civilized beings aware of basic social norms? Are our kids just on the more icky end of the normal spectrum?
The worst part of it all is the judgment we receive as parents. People often assume we must be failing in our parenting duties. Every time one of our kids engages in some revolting act, I feel like shouting, “I SWEAR WE AREN’T RAISING THEM LIKE THIS!”
On the bright side, we have managed to raise one child into her teen years without any gross public antics. Quite the opposite, in fact! Our middle child, too, is much less embarrassing these days, proving that our parenting approach has some merit over time.
I recently felt a wave of relief when a friend’s son came over and left his dirty socks on our dining table. He’s ten, just like my child! My immediate reaction was, “Ew!” quickly followed by a comforting, “Thank goodness!” It’s a relief to know we’re not alone in this parenting struggle.
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In summary, navigating the world of parenting often leads us to face some truly disgusting behaviors from our kids. While we do our best to instill good manners, it’s a wild journey filled with embarrassing moments and unexpected revelations. But in the end, we learn we’re not alone in this messy adventure.