I was having a conversation with a colleague named Jake, a new dad in his early thirties, who was feeling the weight of parenthood. His little girl was six months old, and he was fretting about her reliance on a pacifier. “She can’t sleep without one, and I’m hesitant to stock up because I’ve heard it can make weaning harder,” he confessed.
We were in his cramped office, and Jake, a former Division 1 football player from LA, is not the type of guy you’d expect to feel anxious. Yet, here he was, worried his daughter might end up as some sort of lifelong pacifier enthusiast, as if that were a common issue outside of music festivals.
I raised my hands in a reassuring gesture. “Relax, my friend,” I said. “You don’t need to stress over that stuff.”
He looked at me, puzzled, as if I was suggesting he throw parenting out the window. His expression was a mirror of every new parent who has spent sleepless nights poring over parenting books or scrutinizing nutrition labels in the grocery store, all while their child is in the cart demanding candy. Meanwhile, seasoned parents are watching, knowing that the super healthy quinoa casserole will be met with a resounding “no” in favor of mac and cheese.
The truth is, parenting doesn’t require you to give up entirely, but you can definitely ease up on worrying about trivial things like pacifiers and mac and cheese. If you let those small details consume you, you’ll find yourself exhausted and anxious, always trying to make everything perfect. Kids have their own agendas, and your role is to guide them, not control every aspect of their lives.
“Listen,” I continued, “I’m a dad of three, and I’ve been at it for ten years. My wife and I used to agonize over everything, too. All our kids loved their pacifiers, and you know what? They eventually outgrew it.”
“Really?” Jake asked, intrigued.
“Absolutely. It’s just a phase. Until they’re ready to let go, it’s a battle that’s not worth the stress. It’s a small piece of plastic that gives them comfort—so why not embrace that? In fact, buy a bunch! Stock up!”
“And here’s a little secret about parenting,” I added. “Mac and cheese. Don’t resist it. Just keep it in the pantry. It’ll all be fine, and the same goes for pacifiers.”
Jake didn’t seem thrilled with my advice, and honestly, I wouldn’t have been either when I was a new parent. My wife and I used to get worked up over the tiniest things. But over time, we realized that some situations just aren’t worth the hassle. For instance, my toddler loves to kick off her shoes on the way to the store. I could fight it, but I know she’ll just find a way to remove them. So, I’ve learned to let it go and just put her in the cart barefoot. It’s not the end of the world.
What I’m saying is that parenting is about choosing your battles wisely. It means buying extra pacifiers, letting your child go to the store without shoes, and allowing your son to head to school with messy hair. It’s all part of the journey, and it’ll all work out in the end.
If you’re a new parent reading this, remember that not everything needs to be a stressor. What truly matters is spending quality time with your kids. Watch movies together, lie on the floor and let them crawl over you, and when you get home from work, set everything down and enjoy some snuggles. That’s what counts.
Jake paused for a moment, taking it all in. Then, I reiterated, “Just give your kid those pacifiers. Stock up and make sure there’s one in every room. Don’t resist it. Once she’s settled with her binky, enjoy those cuddles. It’ll all work out. When she’s ready to give them up, you’ll know, and soon enough, she’ll move on to the next phase of childhood. So, enjoy the ride.”
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Summary
Parenting often involves stressing over minor issues like pacifiers and mac and cheese. Instead of worrying, embrace these moments and focus on quality time with your children. Remember, it’s about enjoying the journey, picking your battles wisely, and knowing that things will eventually work out.