Listen Up: Women Are Not Your Possessions, And You Do Not Own Us

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Imagine this: a guy strolls up to a woman at a bar. She’s deep in conversation, laughing with her friends. He sidles in next to her, introduces himself, and offers her a drink. “I’m just here to hang with my friends,” she says—repeatedly. Yet he keeps firing off questions, ignoring her icy glare and her friends’ eye rolls. He seems oblivious to her disinterest. Finally, she sighs and says, “I have a boyfriend.” He reluctantly backs away, hands up, as if to say, “No worries, I get it.”

But let’s be real—her refusals were nothing more than background noise to him. It’s evident he had little regard for her desires. Yet, mention of her being “someone else’s” suddenly brings him to a halt.

This scenario is all too common. Many women resort to the “boyfriend excuse” to ward off persistent men. Thankfully, not all men are like this; many approach with humility and respect. Yet, a significant number embody that aggressive type, selectively tuning out “No” as if it were a distant echo. It’s disheartening, frustrating, and sometimes downright terrifying.

At the core of this issue lies the concept of ownership and entitlement. We witness it manifest in grotesque forms: a man kills a woman for rejecting him, another shoots his wife for leaving, while another goes on a shooting spree, blaming women for not recognizing his “niceness.” It isn’t always violent; often, it’s subtle and insidious. Society constantly sends the message that men have rights to our bodies, our time, and our emotions. This isn’t a loud proclamation—it’s a whisper, woven into our daily interactions and cultural norms.

From the tradition of marrying off daughters as if they were livestock to the expectation that women should fit neatly into boxes labeled “virgin” or “whore,” this notion of ownership is deep-rooted. Most men don’t consciously see women as property, but the implication is there, like a defect passed through generations.

It’s not just the persistent guy at the bar; it’s the man who demands we smile, as if our expressions exist for his pleasure. It’s the guy who believes he can catcall a woman on the street and gets irate when she doesn’t respond to his liking. It’s the “friend-zone” where men feel entitled to a reward for simply being friendly.

Women with large online presences often face threats from men who feel their power is threatened. These men unleash their anger on women they’ve never met simply for occupying space and drawing attention. It’s the ridicule aimed at a mother breastfeeding in public, as if her natural act is somehow offensive.

We are expected to be appealing, to play the role of arm candy, while simultaneously maintaining an elusive standard of perfection that shifts like sand. We’re conditioned to speak softly, laugh delicately, and never be too loud or assertive. Our bodies are seen as commodities, our sexuality something for others to define.

This extends to how we view young girls, who, on the cusp of adulthood, are often objectified and scrutinized. Men ogle them without a second thought to their discomfort, unaware (or uncaring) that they’re reducing them to mere objects of desire.

We’ve been cast in a role that often feels like an excuse for male aggression. The notion that we must be “ladies in the street but freaks in the bed” is a maddening paradox that carries the weight of expectations.

We are not your possessions. You do not own us. We are not here for you to dictate how we should behave or how we should look. Our existence is not a trophy for you to claim.

The anger directed at those who don’t fit into traditional molds—whether it’s a fat woman, a transgender individual, or a lesbian—reflects an underlying sense of ownership. We are not here for your validation; we are not your participation trophies, nor are we your ego boosts.

The bottom line? We are tired of this game. We’re not asking for guilt or pity; we are asking for understanding and support. Help us stop the cycle of entitlement and ownership that fuels violence and objectification.

Let’s raise awareness together, whether it’s through educating our children about respect or standing up for those who face harassment. Let’s make sure our daughters don’t grow up in a world where they have to second-guess their worth based on the gaze of a man.

For more insights on navigating these societal norms, check out this blog post about home insemination, or explore the excellent resources found here. And if you’re looking to boost fertility, Make A Mom has some great advice!

Summary

This article discusses the pervasive sense of ownership and entitlement that some men feel towards women, highlighting the frustrations and dangers that arise from this mindset. It emphasizes that women are not possessions and calls for societal change to recognize women’s autonomy and worth.