To the Mothers Who Raised Us: Defying All Card Logic

As modern-day moms, we often put ourselves under the microscope. I don’t know about you, but my upbringing didn’t come from a “World’s Best Mom” kind of vibe. Nope, I was raised by the “Okayest Mom on the Planet,” who, let’s be honest, was not exactly the poster child for parenting. The type of mom who flips greeting card logic on its head.

Last holiday season, my mom turned to my sister and me and said, “I somehow raised two strong, independent women, and honestly, that wasn’t my goal.” We get it, Mom. We totally get it.

But don’t think for a second that this means she doesn’t expect a royal treatment on Mother’s Day, despite her delightful messiness. Oh, she does. And it’s because of her that I’m taking a moment to reflect on all the “okayest” moms out there, reminding ourselves that we’re doing just fine. Let’s face it, we could all use a confidence boost.

1. You don’t chain-smoke.

When was the last time you surveyed your home and thought, “Wow, I’ve really nailed that dive bar aesthetic”? Never? Good for you! That means you’re not puffing away in the house while your kids are around. All those sugary snacks? They suddenly seem a lot less concerning now, right?

2. You actually use kitchen tools correctly.

The “Wooden Spoon” was practically family for me. Sure, I’d try to hide it, but I can assure you, your kids probably don’t know the spoon’s secret life as a disciplinary tool. When I mention “wooden spoon,” my daughter thinks of cookie baking, not “run for your life.”

3. You prioritize car seats.

After my mom’s divorce, she whisked me off to the Jersey shore in her two-seater Datsun. Guess where I ended up during the two-hour drive home? Yep, tucked away in the hatchback. So those guidelines about car seats lasting until your kids are teens? We’re all for them!

4. You’re more Whole Foods than Hamburger Helper.

At nine, I was put on a SlimFast diet, not because of my weight, but my height (still a shorty). My mom’s fear of me being bullied led to a meal plan filled with unpronounceable chemicals posing as chocolate milk. Meanwhile, we debate if breast milk or formula is better?

5. You can’t imagine abandoning your kids.

I barely managed to say, “I’m pregnant,” before my mom dashed from Pennsylvania to New Jersey. Nothing says, “I’ve got your back” quite like a hasty exit. She claims it was just poor timing. Attachment parenting was never her style.

6. You’ve got a support network.

Once, I was so low that my mom drove two hours to drop off her own antidepressants and then left. Talk about a caring gesture, right? Just gives you a reason to hug your kids a little tighter in this moment.

That time I dubbed my mom “The Okayest Mom on the Planet” and she saw it as a compliment. Without her, I’d be in a world of trouble.

We can either view our choices as blunders or as the best decisions we could make with the info we had. My mom gave it her all, often with a flair for the dramatic—there’s not a door she hasn’t barged through. Without her, my life would be a direct-to-DVD movie you’d skip while scrolling through Netflix.

Here’s to all of us: striving not for “Best Mom” accolades but for the glory of being the okayest. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! Your card is on its way.

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Summary: This article humorously reflects on the realities of motherhood by highlighting the quirks and challenges of being raised by “okayest” moms. It encourages modern mothers to embrace their unique parenting styles while celebrating the imperfections of their own upbringing.