I Will Never Make My Kids Finish Their Food

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I vividly recall those childhood dinners where I felt like I was about to burst after just a few bites of hot dog and some orange slices. On one such evening, my mother insisted I had to finish everything on my plate, so I dutifully complied. In my home, and in many others back then, the unspoken rule was to eat it all, no matter the discomfort.

There were evenings when I cleverly tossed peas onto the floor, a few at a time. I learned that if I chewed my meat for a while and discreetly spat it into my napkin with a dramatic cough, no one would suspect I hadn’t polished off my meal. Eventually, making sure my plate was clean became a matter of etiquette, rather than necessity. I mastered the art of finishing everything, even at friends’ houses where the clean-your-plate rule didn’t apply. It seemed I developed an iron stomach along the way.

As I grew up, the habit of eating beyond my comfort level stuck with me. I felt compelled to clear my plate, even when I was stuffed, simply because the food was there. My brain and stomach were at odds, leading me to ignore my body’s signals until I felt physically ill. The idea of leaving food uneaten became a source of guilt, overshadowing the joy of a good meal.

Because of this experience, I’ve chosen not to impose the same rule on my kids. I don’t want them to associate leaving food on their plates with guilt or think that stuffing themselves is a norm. Of course, I’m not advocating for a free-for-all where they skip nutritious meals only to feast on dessert every night. Instead, I aim to ensure they don’t feel obliged to eat past their comfort.

I want my children to understand their own hunger cues, to recognize when they’re full, and to be able to walk away from the table guilt-free. Some days, their appetites are larger than others, and that’s perfectly natural. I believe in allowing them to decide how much they want to eat, even if it means smaller portions at lunch or dinner with some healthy snacks throughout the day.

They know when they’re hungry and when they’re satisfied; it’s their body, not mine. I focus on providing a balanced diet while limiting sugary and processed snacks, trusting that they will consume what they need. After all, I couldn’t force them to eat when they were babies, and I certainly didn’t pry their mouths open to get them to finish their vegetables. They showed me their limits then, and I respect their signals now that they can say, “Mom, I’m full.”

Kids’ eating habits fluctuate. They can go through phases where they barely eat anything, only to suddenly demand seconds at every meal. And yes, it’s frustrating when they obsess over something like baby carrots and hummus one week, then act like it’s poison the next. But honestly, kids are just like adults when it comes to food; they lose interest and want to stop when they’re satisfied. No one likes to be forced to eat when their body says “enough.”

We can encourage our kids to enjoy a variety of healthy foods without instilling the notion that they must finish every last bite. That’s not just impractical; it’s not healthy either.

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In summary, I believe in fostering a healthy relationship with food for my children. By not forcing them to clean their plates, I hope to help them listen to their bodies and understand their own hunger cues. It’s all about balance and respecting their natural instincts.