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Two Strategies for Managing an Aggressive Child’s Behavior
When kids resort to hitting, screaming, or biting, parents often interpret these actions through one of two outdated perspectives: either the child has an unresolved anger problem or is just acting out of sheer frustration. However, Dr. Emily Carter, a renowned child psychologist at Bright Futures University, argues that these mid-century viewpoints have been thoroughly debunked by modern research. A child who appears angry might not even be angry at all, and it’s unlikely that they’ll grow into an angry adult—or a star athlete, for that matter.
“We don’t need these antiquated beliefs anymore. They’ve proven to be unhelpful and unsupported,” says Carter. “Not everyone who is angry lashes out. The real causes are often tied to various other factors.”
Dr. Carter, who directs the Bright Futures Parenting Center, emphasizes that aggressive behavior in children can stem from issues related to brain function, impulsive tendencies, or the way aggressive actions can light up the brain’s reward centers, similar to the effects of drugs or sweets. There might also be genetic influences, which can become more pronounced with harsh discipline or exposure to violent media. Drawing from her extensive experience with highly aggressive children, she believes it’s crucial to focus on how parents interact with their kids rather than solely on the children’s violent behavior.
“Imagine if your partner has 20 amazing qualities but one tiny annoying trait; it’s all too easy to fixate on that one thing,” she explains. “Parents often overlook countless chances to acknowledge the good, like saying, ‘You’ve been fantastic today!’”
Research backs up the idea that positive reinforcement isn’t some fluff concept; it actually works. The suggestion that kids become overly soft from too much praise might be rooted in a kernel of truth: tough kids can be softened by sincere compliments. “If you want your child to stop slamming their fists against the wall, punishing them for it is unlikely to yield results,” asserts Carter. “Conversely, rewarding them for not engaging in that behavior can make a real difference.”
Another effective approach is simulation, which Carter employs with the most explosive children. This technique involves role-playing scenarios that typically trigger aggressive responses. Kids are coached on how to react appropriately, with praise given when they do so correctly. This method allows children to practice their reactions, creating a sort of ‘muscle memory’ for appropriate behaviors.
“The key to modifying a child’s behavior isn’t about them ‘understanding’ it—that’s just silly,” says Carter. “They need to rehearse the right actions over and over. You can’t master Rachmaninoff just by reading about him!”
It’s important to note that there’s no universal fix, and some children may exhibit aggressive behaviors that point to underlying issues requiring more intensive intervention. “A red flag is when someone else starts complaining,” says Carter. “Often, that’s the school. If a child’s behavior disrupts their daily functioning, it’s time to act.” If parents have real concerns, Carter recommends consulting a pediatrician. In fact, nearly half of pediatric appointments are for behavioral issues, making family doctors a first point of contact for identifying concerning behaviors.
Medical professionals, like Carter, stay updated on the latest research and aim to avoid repeating past errors. “Science isn’t for everyone,” she chuckles. “What can you do? I’m just trying my best.”
For more insights on parenting and behavior management, you might find this post from our other blog enlightening. Also, if you’re navigating your own fertility journey, check out this resource for valuable information.
In summary, managing aggressive behavior in children involves using positive reinforcement and role-playing techniques. While every child is unique and may require tailored approaches, consulting with professionals can provide crucial support for families dealing with challenging behaviors.