Growing up, my family was always on the move. By the time I reached the age of 10, I had lived in several different places, with no location holding my family’s attention for longer than two years. Thanks to my dad’s job transfers, my siblings and I often heard the words, “Kids, I got a promotion, and we’re off to a new adventure!” And let me tell you, that “adventure” usually meant I was the new kid at school, my things were packed up for what felt like an eternity, and my social life was thrown into chaos once again.
While I quickly learned how to make friends and adjust to new environments, there was always a part of me that wished for a stable home. I longed for the chance to put a box in the basement and actually remember it three years later. I envied the kids who went to school with the same buddies from kindergarten through high school and coveted those families who had an array of aunts, uncles, and grandparents living just a few blocks away.
So, I made a vow early on: when I grew up, I would plant my own family tree firmly in one location and never move again. I wanted my children to have what I missed out on—a home they could treasure throughout their childhood. So when my dad announced during my college years that he and my mom were relocating with my two teenage brothers across the country, I faced a tough decision. I chose to stay in my college town and nurture the life I had built there. My parents were supportive, understanding my desire to focus on my studies, but I couldn’t shake the guilt of being apart from my family. However, by then I had met my now-husband, and I knew he was the one with whom I would finally plant my long-awaited roots.
Upsides of Living Far from Family
Living far from family isn’t easy. Holidays can be a juggling act and you often miss out on the daily happenings of your relatives. Sure, technology like texting and video calls helps, but it’s hard not to feel left out when scrolling through social media and seeing family gatherings you can’t attend because of distance. Still, having family spread out across the country brings some surprisingly delightful perks.
- No More Surprise Visits: Let’s be real—no one wants to see their parents bright and early, before a cup of coffee. When family lives far away, visits are planned in advance, which means everyone is prepared. I can stock up on their favorite snacks, and they won’t find me frantically cleaning while half-dressed!
- Sweeter Reunions: When my kids know we’re off to visit their grandparents for our yearly winter trip, their excitement rivals that of Christmas Eve. They chat with their grandparents for weeks, and we eagerly reminisce about past visits while planning what we want to do together. Those reunions get us through the long months apart.
- Building Our Own Village: With both sets of grandparents living out of town, we quickly realized we needed to rely on neighbors and friends for support. We’ve cultivated a rich community of friends who have become our chosen family, filling the gaps when things get tough. Although we’d have friends regardless, our bond is stronger because we’ve spent quality time together.
- Tight Family Bonds: While we try to connect with family during holidays, there are times when it’s just the four of us at home. And honestly, it’s blissful. We’ve had Easters with pizza and Christmas dinners of cereal under the tree. Not having family nearby has helped us strengthen our own family’s bonds, creating traditions our kids will cherish forever.
While living far from family presents challenges, it also brings unexpected joys. From the high cost of holiday travel to navigating medical emergencies, it’s not always easy. Nevertheless, I’m grateful I chose to branch out and nurture my own little family tree, which continues to grow in ways I never imagined.
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In summary, while distance from family can be tough, it can also allow for unique experiences, stronger friendships, and cherished family traditions.