May 17, 2017
Not too long ago, my kids and I had a fantastic morning at our local public pool. It’s a massive facility with all sorts of fun—multiple pools, a splash pad, water slides, and a lazy river. We met up with some friends, and a few hundred other families were there too. Normally, I steer clear of crowded places, but the allure of a swimming adventure was too tempting to resist.
Swimming pools are infamous for highlighting our insecurities and differences, but I didn’t realize this until we got home. Surrounded by hundreds of people, I didn’t give a second thought to my son, Max’s unique qualities or what others might be thinking. There were no curious stares, no pointed fingers, no snickers or name-calling. All I saw were my son, his sister, and their friends having a blast, while I caught up with some pals. It was a picture-perfect moment, and I realized—ignorance really is bliss.
I’ve heard the phrase “ignorance is bliss” throughout my life, often tossed around casually. But for me, it’s the secret ingredient to my happiness. Max has a form of dwarfism, which makes him stand out from his peers. In the past five years, his differences hadn’t been glaringly obvious, but now that he’s out of the baby stage, it’s becoming more pronounced.
When I look at Max, I don’t see anything unusual; I just see my little boy. That’s probably part of my blissful ignorance. In our world, Max’s size is simply our normal. I often overlook that he’s a little person. In our happy bubble, Max is cherished for who he is, and he loves himself just the same—just like any typical family. We embrace our uniqueness and venture out into the world with love and support.
But outside our home, there’s no denying that Max is different. Our normal isn’t what most consider typical. His condition sometimes invites stares, name-calling, and other unpleasantness—everything I’ve dreaded since his diagnosis.
What I didn’t anticipate was this blissful ignorance. Who knew being totally oblivious could bring so much joy? The harsh realities of the world don’t bother me or Max right now. We haven’t noticed the stares or comments, and we’re too busy living our lives. For the moment, our protective happiness travels with us. We don’t worry about what others think, and thus, we have nothing to upset us.
Occasionally, I do catch a glance or two, but my ignorance transforms these moments into something positive. I interpret those looks as smiles and compliments. After all, maybe they’re just admiring what they see. Why not enjoy the “not knowing”? Turning someone’s glance into an insult only breeds hurt and pain, and it might not even be true. I choose bliss over anger and tears.
As Max and his friends grow older, I’m starting to hear more heartbreaking stories from other families with “Little Big” kids. There’s cruel pointing and name-calling directed right at them, which frustrates me. I know my ignorance can’t last forever, and we may soon face similar challenges. But since I’ve relished my blissful ignorance for so long, I’m determined to learn from it and make future experiences more bearable.
When my ignorance fades and we can’t ignore the cruelty anymore, I’ll look back on this blissful state as a reminder. When hurtful words come our way, I must choose happiness over sadness. I’ll remember there are unkind people out there who feel the need to lash out for reasons I may never understand.
Yet, their words can’t cut deep if I don’t let them. I have a choice: to embrace the hurt or to choose bliss. If I can make those sharp, angry words insignificant, they won’t hurt us as much. While these experiences may always leave some wounds, we can also move forward and choose joy—choosing ignorant bliss.
You might worry that opting for ignorance means missing out on opportunities to educate or confront negativity. However, despite the lack of a dramatic response, ignorance can still make a powerful statement. Actions speak louder than words. By choosing bliss, we render hurtful remarks irrelevant. Max may be small, but he’s not a punchline. He might be little in stature, but he’s larger than life in all the ways that count. So, go ahead—glance our way. Stare if you must. We’ve got something special to share!
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In summary, choosing to remain blissfully ignorant can be a powerful way to navigate life’s challenges. By focusing on love and support, we can transform potentially hurtful experiences into opportunities for joy. Ignorance can shield us from negativity and remind us to celebrate our unique family dynamics.