Navigating the Gift-Giving Gauntlet for My Wife: Awkward Yet Rewarding

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I found myself in a bit of a pickle while trying to order a spa day for Lisa, my wife, as a surprise for Mother’s Day. I was aware of her preferred spa, though I couldn’t recall its name. I didn’t have a clue what treatments she usually indulged in, but I knew that she always returned from those visits looking radiant and refreshed. So, I turned to Google, found the number, and dialed in. The voice on the other end belonged to a young woman who must have been trying not to chuckle at a dad in his mid-30s asking what were, let’s be honest, pretty ridiculous questions.

My plan was to surprise Lisa the Saturday before Mother’s Day with a perfectly timed getaway at her favorite spa. I envisioned telling her, “Go enjoy yourself! I’ll handle the kids,” and afterward, a nice dinner out. I even ran this idea past a colleague, who suggested I drop some hints to her husband for added inspiration.

I felt pretty confident until the moment I was on the line, asking questions like, “What exactly is a facial?” and “How does a pedicure work?” and “Do they wax the whole face or just the eyebrows?” Cue the giggles. And while those questions may seem silly to some, they were genuine inquiries from someone who had never ventured into the world of spa treatments. To make matters worse, the young woman on the phone was probably laughing at the adorable cluelessness of a husband trying to make his wife happy, but all I felt was a flush of embarrassment.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I don’t regret seeking out Lisa’s favorite spa or trying to figure out what she enjoys. It’s just that I found myself way outside of my comfort zone. I mean, I’ve never had a facial or a pedicure, and the thought of waxing my eyebrows is enough to make me cringe (though they could use some serious grooming). I’ve been cutting my own hair for years! My questions may have seemed trivial to many, but I wanted to ensure Lisa received exactly what she wanted. I even needed to gauge how long she’d be gone so I could plan dinner reservations.

As I sat there with my forehead resting in my hands, my elbows on the desk, absorbing the details of a facial, I sensed someone watching me. I turned to find our office intern, Sarah, grinning and snapping a pic on her phone. She’s in her early 20s and always a hard worker. I raised my hand in protest, but it was too late; she was already sharing my moment of vulnerability on Snapchat.

Looking back, the whole ordeal is downright hilarious, and some might even deem it sweet. But that’s not the core of my story. I’ve been married to Lisa for 13 years, and I adore her. It’s crucial to me that she feels valued and cherished. I don’t want to be that husband who forgets special occasions. Lisa is an exceptional mother, and she deserves something special on Mother’s Day. Yet, in my efforts to do the right thing, I often find myself feeling awkward and embarrassed.

I’m not suggesting that you should fawn over your husband every time he steps out of his comfort zone for you—that’s not my point. What I’m highlighting is that sometimes, a thoughtful gift comes with a backstory of a husband stumbling through the process, fielding questions that might seem silly, all while the intern is having a laugh at his expense. Yet, he perseveres. He doesn’t just throw in the towel and hand you cash with a wink. He sets aside his pride and strives to give you what you deserve because you mean that much to him.

There’s a lot of love wrapped up in that awkwardness. Society often portrays love as grand gestures—like slaying dragons or standing up for your partner. But in reality, love can look like a guy in work boots awkwardly standing in a florist shop or a dad buying feminine hygiene products with a slight blush on his face but unwavering determination.

And let’s not forget that women also step out of their comfort zones for the men they love. These moments of dedication often go unnoticed and unappreciated. After I hung up the phone with the spa, I stepped outside to gather myself, took a deep breath, and waited for the embarrassment to fade. Once I cleared my head, I focused on how thrilled Lisa would be with my surprise and realized that her happiness was absolutely worth the awkwardness—even if everyone was laughing at me on Snapchat.

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In summary, while gift-giving can often lead to awkward moments, it’s the thought and love behind the gesture that truly counts. Embracing the discomfort for the sake of love and appreciation is what makes it all worthwhile.