I’ll never forget when I was 15 and lost my grandfather to cancer. During that painful time, friends and family showered us with casseroles, pies, and warm cookies left on our porch. My mom truly needed that support, allowing her to focus on her grief rather than the daily grind of cooking and grocery shopping. This was my first glimpse of how a community rallies around someone in distress.
Fast forward a few years, and my friends and I were doing the same for those facing their own battles—food dropped off for a friend diagnosed with breast cancer, or meals delivered to a family mourning a loss. When tragedy strikes, we instinctively provide comfort food. It’s a beautiful, nurturing tradition. But what about when your child is struggling with addiction?
Opioid addiction is classified as a chronic brain disease that causes compulsive drug-seeking behavior despite its harmful consequences. Unfortunately, despite this classification, society often treats addiction as a taboo subject. It’s the whispered affliction that people avoid discussing openly, leading many families to suffer in silence.
I remember when my daughter, Lily, went to California for treatment. She left just before our family’s annual gathering for the Turtle Races, an event that everyone looks forward to. How could I explain her absence? I was terrified of judgment, of the awkward glances, and not having answers to their questions. I wanted to protect her, fearing how she’d feel if she knew I had shared our struggles. John and I felt incredibly isolated, facing a monumental challenge without the community support we desperately needed.
In those days, just getting out of bed felt like a monumental task. Food, cooking, and normal life became secondary. Hours were spent on the phone with insurance companies, and sleepless nights were filled with fear every time I heard a siren or my phone rang.
When Lily was 19, she entered her first treatment center. I was overwhelmed with despair. This couldn’t be happening! Making the drive home felt impossible, and tears blurred my vision. I returned to an empty house, collapsing into bed, utterly exhausted from the emotional struggle of convincing her to seek help. And through all of this, not a single casserole appeared on our doorstep.
At 20, she was admitted to a psychiatric facility and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I spent days at that hospital, snacking on vending machine Cheez-Its while my family at home survived on peanut butter and jelly. No comforting lasagna showed up to ease our pain.
For seven long years, our family fought tirelessly for Lily’s recovery, putting out one fire after another, flying across the country to seek the best treatment options, and arming ourselves with knowledge. The kind of suffering we faced often felt invisible—an experience that isn’t easily understood by others. Mental health issues, addiction, and other crises can be hard for loved ones to grasp, leading to a lack of communication and support.
I don’t write this to cast blame on my family and friends; they simply didn’t know the extent of our struggle. I was afraid to share how our family was falling apart. But once I started to open up, I discovered the incredible support system that had always been there, waiting to help.
Different kinds of crises can create an uncomfortable distance between us and our loved ones. If you know someone facing similar challenges, offering a batch of warm cookies or an invitation for coffee could provide much-needed comfort and understanding. We all crave love and acceptance, regardless of what we’re going through.
If you or a loved one is grappling with addiction, there are resources available to help. For more information on support systems, you can check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination at Medical News Today or learn about home insemination kits at Cryobaby.
In summary, societal stigma around addiction often leaves families feeling alone and unsupported. Community support, like the comfort of a casserole, is crucial, but it’s sometimes hard to find. By opening up about our struggles, we can create a network of understanding and compassion.