As a single mom, one of the greatest gifts I’ve received is the community I’ve built around myself and my child—our little village. When my son was an infant, I primarily connected with other stay-at-home moms during playdates and at the local park. While they were lovely, I soon found that our experiences diverged significantly. They couldn’t relate to the challenges of handling everything solo, and I began to feel a wave of resentment. They were happily married, while I was navigating the aftermath of a long-term relationship that didn’t pan out. I recognized that I needed a few single mom pals who could understand my struggles in ways my married friends couldn’t.
As my son grew, I gravitated towards long-time friends who had supported me through various life stages, both before and after motherhood. They were familiar with my journey and always willing to listen to my rants about the ridiculous antics of my ex or how utterly exhausted I felt. They welcomed my son into our gatherings, which was a blessing since he wasn’t comfortable being away from me for long stretches. Finding time for just us was great for my mental health, but being able to bring him along without judgment was a huge relief. Back then, it was my only way to escape the house.
My best friend, Lisa, has kids the same age and lives just a stone’s throw away. She was always my closest married friend—listening to my grievances, validating my feelings, and showing empathy. Although she didn’t completely grasp what it was like to be a single mom, I never felt the same disconnect with her that I experienced with some other mom friends.
Like me, Lisa has been candid about her own challenges. So when she confided that she and her husband were contemplating separation, I felt a genuine sadness for her (and her child). Yet, on the flip side, I found myself wishing for a single mom buddy, and who better than my best friend? I didn’t want her marriage to end, but if it was happening, we could lean on each other through the ups and downs of single parenting.
Nowadays, our lives feel reminiscent of our younger, carefree days—only instead of binge-watching wedding shows, we’re glued to episodes of Bubble Guppies. Living close by allows us to sneak in a quick drink when we need a breather from the toddler chaos. This companionship is vital because solo parenting can often feel isolating, and having someone to share the journey with is a true blessing.
Since we’ve known each other for ages, we’re both familiar with each other’s exes. So when they pull their typical antics, we become the chief officers of the petty police. Is it childish? Absolutely! But we don’t care. She’ll drop snarky comments on my ex’s social media, and I’ll throw in some cheeky remarks about hers when he’s nearby. We always have each other’s backs.
Lisa has been encouraging me to date for a while, even though I’ve told her repeatedly that I’m not ready for that yet. Sharing a home with my parents and my child complicates things further. Meanwhile, she’s dipped her toes back into dating—and let’s just say, her flirting skills still need some work! It’s been fun to play the role of her wingwoman, reminiscent of our pre-kid days.
But I’ve also been there for her during the more serious moments. Divorce is tough, and there are times she needs to let it all out. I totally get it when she’s feeling burnt out, and I offer to come over to entertain her kids while she naps, tidies up, or prepares for a job interview. She’d do the same for me. Her support has always been precious, but now that we’re navigating single parenting together, I appreciate it even more.
I’m not trying to sugarcoat the challenges of being a single parent. It’s incredibly tough. Often, it can feel lonely and isolating. That’s why building a trusted circle of friends who truly understand is crucial for mental well-being. I’ve been fortunate to find a few friends who completely get it—and me.
Additionally, I’ve discovered a fantastic support group on Facebook where I’ve formed lasting connections. The camaraderie among us is palpable because many have faced similar struggles. Talking to someone who has genuinely experienced the same issues is invaluable—you don’t realize how much you need it until it’s there. When you’re at your wits’ end and need someone to tell you that you can push through? That’s priceless.
The members of my tribe show up for me, offer love and support, and that’s incredibly refreshing. They’ve become the family I’ve chosen, and I’m immensely grateful that we can lean on each other. As I often say, “We single moms must stick together.” And we do.
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Summary
My circle of single mom friends provides invaluable support and companionship through the challenges of single parenting. While being a single mom is tough and often isolating, having friends who understand the journey makes all the difference. Together, we navigate life’s ups and downs, creating a family of our own choosing.