As summer approaches, many parents find themselves welcoming their college-age kids back home for a long break. After months of enjoying your personal space and routine, this shift can be jarring. To maintain harmony, it’s crucial to establish some ground rules.
The first time I came across the term “boundaries,” I was half-listening to a talk show while running errands. This was back in the ‘90s when radio was like cheap therapy for those of us married young. One wise host spoke passionately about boundaries, and I was all ears. The concept was completely foreign to me: “This is yours; that’s mine. Here’s where you don’t tread!” It seemed simple enough, yet I never thought it would apply to my own family dynamic.
My partner and I tied the knot young, and the idea of boundaries? Yeah, we didn’t really think about that. We shared everything: from our morning coffee to the latest flu strain, and even our Netflix passwords. We had developed a cozy, boundary-less existence, which worked until our kids hit their teenage years. Suddenly, our adorable little ones morphed into independent adults who began erecting walls of their own.
This transition can be challenging for parents, especially when kids start setting rules for us while we unwittingly cross their lines. It’s a one-sided game of boundary-setting, and it can feel like our home has turned into a chaotic college dorm. So, to keep the peace this summer, I’ve decided to lay down some guidelines:
- If you toss your clothes in my washing machine and I have to move the previous load to the dryer, please fold them once they’re clean. I promise to do the same for you, and by the end of summer, I’ll have folded more laundry than anyone else in the house. (Mom for the win, or maybe it’s just a laundry game?)
- If you come home to a dark house and cold cookware, it probably means I’m out having a good time. Feel free to cook for yourself!
- If the fridge is lacking your go-to soy burgers or almond milk, it’s time for you to hit the grocery store. Don’t worry about the receipt; I won’t be cooking that stuff anyway.
- And listen, if my bedroom door is shut, I might just be trying to escape your endless debates about politics or religion. Feel free to text or email me your thoughts; I promise to respond thoughtfully.
Lastly, to all the parents running an unofficial B&B (Bed & Boundaries) this summer, remember this: “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s probably your college kid.”
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Summary:
Navigating the return of your college student can be tricky, but setting clear boundaries can help maintain peace at home. From sharing laundry responsibilities to respecting personal space, clear communication is key. Take proactive steps to ensure a harmonious summer for both you and your returning child.