We’ve all been there—casually scrolling through Facebook when suddenly, a friend pops up promoting their “incredible journey” as a coach for weight loss and wellness. You feel that familiar cringe as you spot a message inviting you to join their “fabulous team.” Sound familiar? If not, consider yourself fortunate.
But I can’t help but feel like I’m an easy target for these messages, especially after welcoming twins into my life. It’s like they see a “new mom” sign flashing above my head, begging for help with that post-baby weight! The invitation often sounds like this: “Congrats on the twins! I’d love to help you shed that baby weight!” Uh, thanks? But, seriously, stop!
It’s a bit presumptuous to suggest I need to lose weight, especially when we barely know each other. And here’s the kicker: every time I hear that I need to slim down, a little part of me starts to believe it. That insecurity creates ripples that reach my perceptive little ones, and one of my deepest fears as a parent is that my own body image issues could hinder my daughters from developing a healthy self-view.
Every time I get a message about how you can help me get fit (which often means losing weight), I find myself calculating the calories in that cupcake I just shared with my daughter. And she sees that. I skip the cookies we baked together, and she notices. I choose to squeeze in a workout instead of catching up on sleep, and she asks why I can’t keep up with her.
“Oh, just grab the Shakeology!” you say. “That’ll give you a burst of energy!” you insist. “It’s just the price of one Starbucks drink a day! Surely, you can manage that?” I mean, come on—I haven’t had a Starbucks since before the twins were born! It’s either your shakes or my daughters’ formula, and I know which one takes priority.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I wholeheartedly believe that leading a healthy lifestyle is critical, and I want to model that for my daughters. However, I take issue with the idea that “strong is the new skinny” or that I should demonstrate to my girls that women need to be strong. Why? Because “strong” tends to become synonymous with flat abs and muscle definition.
What I’m unintentionally teaching my daughters with those messages is that their value is tied to how “strong” they look or how clean they eat. Nope, not on my watch. I’d prefer to instill in them the importance of enjoying their broccoli before indulging in some chocolate cake. I want them to move their bodies for fun, not out of obligation to be strong.
I want them to embrace lazy days without guilt, knowing that all food is okay when consumed with balance. I want them to listen to their bodies rather than the endless chatter in their heads that suggests someone else is skinnier or fitter. I want my daughters to understand that even if their tummies are soft or they enjoy an extra cookie, they matter. Their worth is not determined by these superficial standards.
So please, stop it. Let me enjoy my time with my mom bod and the joys of motherhood without the pressure to join your “crew.” I’m raising strong, balanced women, and I refuse to be distracted by your pitches.
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In summary, let’s shift the focus from weight loss to embracing healthy lifestyles that prioritize balance and self-love, especially for our little ones watching and learning from us.