As I sit here, I’m sporting some ancient Cat in the Hat pajama pants (complete with a sizable hole—lucky you!) and a T-shirt that’s seen better days. My hair is hastily tied back, resembling more of a “just-rolled-out-of-bed” look rather than anything polished. Of course, I’m in my glasses because, let’s face it, I didn’t have time for contacts this morning.
Sure, I rocked those Cat in the Hat pj’s to school drop-off, but hey, I had a coat on—so no one should have noticed, right?
It’s still early, and I’m in the “safe zone,” where most mothers resemble my current state: frazzled, in a rush, so busy caring for everyone else that they forget about themselves. But as the day progresses, caffeine will kick in, showers will happen, and maybe, just maybe, we’ll trade our comfy loungewear for actual pants. Makeup? Well, that’s a toss-up!
Then again, there are those days when the motivation to do anything at all just vanishes. Yoga pants become the uniform of choice (as if “yoga pants” imply actual yoga has taken place), and while the laundry piles up, you binge-watch shows you’ve been meaning to catch up on. Those days can be a much-needed mental break, but they shouldn’t become the norm.
If you find yourself stuck in a routine of perpetual frumpiness, it can lead to some serious downsides. It’s not just a funny word; it’s a state of mind. I’ve swung from one end of the spectrum to the other, and I can tell you that living in frumpiness is easy. It starts innocently enough, with the excuse of prioritizing your family. But soon, you’re not just giving up on your appearance; you’re neglecting your self-care entirely.
You might find yourself feeling guilty, unattractive, and isolated—too ashamed to show the world how far you’ve let yourself go. I’ve been there, and it’s a slippery slope. Frumpiness creeps in slowly, lulling you into a false sense of practicality. You stop putting in the effort, thinking you’re doing it for your family, but in reality, you’re losing a piece of yourself.
One day, you look in the mirror and barely recognize the person staring back at you. The sparkle is gone, and it feels like you’ve become a mere shell of who you used to be.
I know this struggle well. Sometimes, that frumpy feeling tries to take hold again, but the antidote is self-care. It can start small—like making sure you shower regularly. Then, move on to pampering yourself a little: condition your hair, moisturize those dry heels, or throw on some mascara if you fancy. Put together an outfit that doesn’t involve elastic bands.
But remember, do this for YOU, not anyone else. You deserve to feel good about yourself. Whether it means leaving the dishes piled up or skipping the kids’ bath for a bubble bath of your own, prioritize your well-being.
Reclaiming the gift of self-care has been transformative—not just for me, but for my family too. They didn’t exactly thrive on living with a joyless robot who merely checked off daily tasks. It won’t happen overnight, but even the smallest steps can lead you back to the vibrant person you once were.
Take back your power; rediscover the joy of caring for yourself, because you truly matter.
Ready to dive deeper? Check out this post from our other blog. Also, for those navigating the world of fertility, consult the authority at Make a Mom. If you’re looking for more resources, this link offers some excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
It’s all too easy to fall into the frumpy trap as a busy mom, neglecting self-care in favor of caring for others. But reclaiming your self-esteem through basic self-care can transform not just how you feel about yourself, but also how you interact with your family. Remember, you’re worth the effort, and small changes can lead to big improvements.