On Christmas Eve this year, just past midnight, after dashing around the house like silent gazelles to prepare for the big day, I emerged from the bathroom in my pajamas, ready to collapse into bed. My husband, Jake, nodded toward my side of the bed, where a beautifully wrapped bag from Victoria’s Secret awaited. My excitement quickly turned to shock, which I obviously didn’t conceal very well.
He hurriedly reassured me, “No! It’s part of your Christmas gifts, but I couldn’t give it to you in front of the kids. It’s not for tonight!”
I couldn’t help but laugh at my own reaction, and soon Jake joined in. We shared a good five minutes of laughter, a rare moment of joy amidst the holiday chaos.
When did this happen? When did he start gifting me lingerie—albeit with a raincheck?
While I adore creating fun surprises for our kids on occasions like Valentine’s Day, I often fall short when it comes to my husband. He usually gets a hastily purchased card, often after he’s already sent me flowers.
The truth is, Jake excels at being thoughtful, and I sometimes take that for granted. There are fleeting moments when I remind myself how fortunate I am to have him and our wonderfully chaotic family. But then life takes over, and in all honesty, he often slips down the list of my priorities.
When did this shift occur?
When I first moved to a new state to be with Jake, before our daughters and the delightful mayhem they bring, my favorite part of the day was snuggling in bed to watch Family Guy reruns. It may not sound romantic, but after enduring a long-distance relationship, that simple act felt heavenly. Even after living together, I’d happily think, “I get to come home to my husband!”
I still feel that excitement when he returns from work and I love him just as fiercely (thankfully, he’s stuck with me!). Yet, sometimes I wake up from the whirlwind of motherhood and long for those cozy Family Guy evenings. Who would’ve thought that such a show could hold so much nostalgia?
Just before we got married, I panicked, fearing that I’d become too comfortable—that we’d slip into the routine of just another married couple. Before our first child arrived, I cried as Jake comforted me, afraid that parenthood would change us forever.
What I didn’t grasp back then was that change is inevitable. As long as we continue to grow, we will evolve as a couple repeatedly.
Sure, we might not have much time alone, but he still playfully smacks my rear as I rush by to get our daughter some milk. We may not tumble into bed like teenagers, but we doze off with the news playing softly in the background. Our spontaneous trips are now carefully planned adventures that we’ve learned to savor.
So, no, we don’t remain the same couple. We have the opportunity to grow together and navigate new experiences—over and over again, if we’re fortunate.
Just last week, I messaged Jake, “We need a date night soon. We’re starting to feel like friends.” His quick-witted response was, “Well, Google does have ‘FRIEND’ next to your chat photo.” I chuckled but was about to reply when he added, “I just changed it. It now says ‘My Sexy Wife I Love.’”
My heart fluttered at those words, reminding me that moments like these far surpass any Family Guy rerun.
For more insights on navigating relationships and family life, check out this blog post. It’s essential to find ways to reconnect and keep the spark alive.
In summary, while kids can push you out of your comfort zone, those challenges can lead to deeper connections in your marriage. Embracing change rather than resisting it can help couples grow closer even amidst chaos.