In the realm of parenting, especially during the teenage years, communication can often feel like a game of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” As a mom navigating my last tour through this teenage whirlwind, it’s amusing how my child seems to think I’m completely new to the prom scene.
What’s a parent to do? Ask questions, of course. But here’s the kicker: when I bombard my youngest with inquiries about the upcoming junior prom, I’m suddenly the “bad guy” for being curious.
My teen makes a fleeting appearance each day, usually just long enough to grab a bite after practice, and with such limited time together, I want to connect. Typically, I can only squeeze in one or two questions while he’s busy scarfing down dinner, so I have to make them count. It’s like a ticking clock during a basketball game, and far too often, I take the risky shots and miss.
In my quest to unravel the mystery of prom, I approached this with a series of delicate inquiries spread out over weeks. Here’s a glimpse of the questions I dared to ask:
- So, junior prom is around the corner! Are you planning to go?
- Do you even want to attend prom?
- Have you asked your girlfriend yet?
- Are you planning to ask her?
- How are you going to pop the question?
- Do guys wear tuxedos or suits?
- Did she say yes?
- Are you still going to the prom?
- Any plans for pre-prom parties?
- When can you buy tickets?
- Could you take the dog for a walk?
- What’s the game plan for prom?
- Did you ask her yet?
- I’d rather not hear about your plans from Sam’s mom. Just give me a hint.
- How will you get to the prom?
- Are you interested in ordering a corsage?
- Did you remember to feed the dog?
- What about pictures before prom? Want to have people over?
- Who are your friends going with?
- Who are your friends, anyway?
- Do you even have friends?
- Who’s bringing the drinks? Just a heads-up, we have a breathalyzer.
- Does anyone else have a date?
- Want your friends over afterward?
- Did you feed the dog?
- What’s the plan for after prom? We need to discuss this.
- Just so you know, “bonfire” can mean trouble.
- Do you have plans after prom?
- No sleepovers, not happening.
- Is she your girlfriend?
- Have you met her parents? Are you polite to them?
- Still no sleepovers, got it?
- You will have a curfew. How late do you think you’ll be?
- Are guys going for suits or tuxes?
- Are you ever going to walk the dog?
- What color is her dress?
- Red Solo cups can lead to trouble.
- Where are you going? Who’s it with? Can we join?
- Do their parents provide drinks?
- Who will be there?
- How long will you stay at the prom?
- How are your grades looking? I hope I’m not disappointed.
- Have you bought your ticket yet? Need a loan?
- Did you feed the dog?
- Are you planning to dance? You should; you’re a great dancer!
- Interested in having friends over for hair and makeup?
- Want to invite her family for pictures?
- Think we should order you a tux?
- Remember when you begged for a dog? Will you walk it?
- Want Dad and me to drive you to prom? It could be fun!
What did I gather from all this? Not much. His responses were mostly grunts and vague replies that left me feeling frustrated. (“Us,” meaning my husband and me, not the kid. We don’t serve drinks to minors, which might explain my relentless questioning.)
Despite the silence, I’ve pieced together some information. He does in fact have a girlfriend who will accompany him to prom. We actually like her; she’s smart, funny, and charming, and we’ve only had a brief chat. He asked her in a thoughtful way (because those over-the-top promposals are just ridiculous). They’re planning to rent a bus for the event and have friends gathering for pre-prom pictures—none of which I’m invited to, but I’m tempted to crash and share the details on social media.
His lacrosse coach is implementing a midnight curfew, so I won’t be the only strict parent. Prom season is indeed a blend of excitement and anxiety for teens all over, filled with traditions and secrets. As parents, our job is to keep asking, nudging, and guiding, all while hoping for unforgettable memories that won’t land us in a police report.
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Summary
Navigating the teenage world of prom can feel like pulling teeth for parents. With limited communication and a barrage of questions, one mother describes her attempts to connect with her son as he prepares for this significant event. Amidst the confusion and stonewalling, she manages to learn key details about his prom date, their plans, and the parental guidelines that come with this rite of passage.