I found myself questioning my abilities as a parent. It’s a common instinct: to blame oneself. When your child exhibits exceptional talents, like Lucas who can read two grades ahead, it’s natural to wonder if I could have done more to help him master his handwriting. It was a shocking realization to discover that my 7-year-old had yet to grasp his lowercase letters. His writing was messy and strained, and his spelling was barely recognizable—“Grea” for “great” and “lov” for “love.” He couldn’t even spell his last name correctly.
We dedicated time to improve his writing skills. Out of all our homeschooling activities, Lucas consistently resisted writing. He would sit at his desk with lined paper, struggling to craft even three simple sentences on topics that we had discussed. We brainstormed together, tying it to our other subjects like social studies or reading, yet it always felt like an uphill battle. His understanding of phonics seemed to vanish the moment he picked up a pencil. Just yesterday, “sushi rolls” was spelled “sosi rals” by a child who could easily read “the United Nations.”
After examining his work—characterized by inconsistent spacing, unconventional spelling, and a mix of uppercase and lowercase letters—I began to wonder if there was a deeper issue at play. My research led me to dysgraphia, a writing disorder, and possibly dyslexia. A diagnosis could shed light on the mismatch between his reading and writing capabilities and provide us with strategies to support him.
Yet, I grappled with the thought of labeling my gifted son as having a learning disability (LD). Lucas falls into the category of “twice exceptional,” gifted children who also face learning challenges. We had previously navigated the emotional terrain when we recognized that he shared the ADHD traits that my partner and I deal with ourselves. I understand the struggles that come with attention issues and the social hurdles, as well as my partner’s experience with dyscalculia—a form of dyslexia that affects math.
I often worry about the implications of a potential diagnosis for Lucas’s future. While I can provide him with strategies to improve his writing, it pains me to think he may never enjoy it. The art of expressing himself in writing could become a source of stress rather than joy. Despite all the support available, there’s a chance he will continue to face difficulties. No parent wants to see their child struggle.
We’ve begun explaining to him that he is different. Lucas attends a homeschool co-op where he is aware of how easily his peers can write. He recognizes their neat handwriting and how quickly they can produce text. We talk about how his brain operates differently—something he is already familiar with because of his ADHD. I reassure him that this means writing is more challenging for him than it is for others.
“Maybe I just need to try harder, Mom,” he sometimes says, and it breaks my heart because trying harder isn’t the solution.
“You can’t try harder,” I explain. “You can try differently. That’s why we’re seeking an evaluation; we want to discover how we can help you approach it in a new way.”
He sighs, feeling anxious about the evaluation. Without realizing it, he has started compensating by asking me how to spell every word, yet he still ends up with “ral” for “rolls.” Words he believes he knows often come out misspelled, like “lov” for “love” and “da” for “the.” Now that I’m aware of these issues, they’re hard to ignore, and each paper he struggles over tugs at my heart. I feel helpless, not knowing how to assist him, and my frustration pales in comparison to his own.
Fortunately, the other children have yet to notice his writing challenges, and if they have, they’ve chosen not to comment. The homeschooling community is generally accepting of each child’s learning pace, a quality for which I’m grateful.
Now, we wait anxiously for a diagnosis. We feel a strong need for a label. With a diagnosis, Lucas can confidently say, “I have dysgraphia” if someone questions his writing or teases him about it. A label will provide us with resources to support him and guidance on how to help him learn to enjoy writing, even if his handwriting isn’t perfect.
We will navigate this journey together. We will find ways to support him, and he will learn to adapt. He is resilient, and while the path may be challenging, we are determined to persevere.
If you are interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this excellent resource on IUI. For those considering options to enhance fertility, this fertility booster for men is worth exploring. For additional insights on insemination techniques, visit this post.
Summary:
Navigating the challenges of parenting a twice-exceptional child can be overwhelming. The author shares her experiences with her son, Lucas, highlighting the emotional journey of discovering his learning differences while recognizing his giftedness. As they seek a diagnosis for his writing struggles, they remain hopeful about finding strategies to support him and foster a love for writing despite the obstacles.