During my pregnancy, I was reassured by various trusted sources that having a baby wouldn’t completely alter my body. Given my own genetic tendencies, I was pleasantly surprised to emerge with minimal stretch marks and shed the baby weight within weeks. At first glance, it seemed like I had “returned to normal.” However, beneath my yoga pants, a different reality awaited.
Nearly two years after my daughter was born, I continue to grapple with the aftermath of childbirth. Issues that were expected to vanish post-delivery are still plaguing me, including an unexpected vaginal infection (I suspect it might be something sinister lurking in the shadows). My postpartum recovery journey feels like a tragicomic tale filled with mishaps.
The Start of It All
Before delving into my postpartum struggles, I should mention the condition that started it all: pregnancy itself. It was anything but gentle on my body, with symptoms ranging from nausea and vomiting to round ligament pain and relentless heartburn. The absolute worst? The infamous pregnancy hemorrhoids. I’m talking about enormous, purple “piles” the size of a newborn’s fist. One of mine even earned a name: Gertrude, and she’s quite the character.
Labor and Delivery
Labor and delivery were no walk in the park, especially after having several hemorrhoids removed—exorcised, if you will. But, as they say, you get a baby out of the deal, with the promise that the complications of pregnancy are behind you.
Then the painkillers wore off. A glance in a handheld mirror revealed a recovery that was going to be gnarly. I had an episiotomy, and let’s just say it looked like a perineal patchwork project down there. Healing took about five weeks and a lot of ice packs, but surely that meant the worst was over, right?
Unexpected Complications
Not exactly. A few months later, my hemorrhoids returned. I became so constipated that I developed fissures. Remember those jawbreakers from the ‘90s with the white, jagged layer? Yeah, I’m pretty sure one of those was lodged in my colon.
Just as I was coming to terms with this new normal, I experienced some itchiness and dryness in my intimate areas. I stubbornly resisted seeking medical help until, during playtime with my baby, I tore my labia. Yes, that’s a real thing.
I marched myself and a friend to my doctor’s office, hoping he’d humor my “let’s just remove it all and start fresh” plan. Instead, I left with $100 worth of treatments: Monistat 7, probiotics, baby oil, MiraLAX, Metamucil, and glycerin suppositories. Unfortunately, none of it worked.
Seeking Help
Back at the clinic, my OB-GYN decided to test me for herpes. The procedure involved using a giant Q-tip to poke at my already tender areas—definitely not a pleasant experience. I was dreading the thought of explaining to my husband, who was deployed, that I had contracted an STD. Thankfully, the test came back negative. They took another culture, suspecting a bacterial issue, and prescribed antibiotics.
Meanwhile, at the colorectal surgeon’s office, I was preparing for an examination in the most vulnerable position imaginable (and I’ve given birth). Apparently, having one fissure is normal, but the constellation of issues down there was not. A colonoscopy may be in my future, and for now, I’m on a regimen of stool softeners, laxatives, and butt cream.
Surprising Discoveries
Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, my test results came in: staph infection in my lady bits. Who knew that was even possible? Apparently, my underwear had become a petri dish. The treatment plan included antibiotics, with an antifungal added just for good measure.
Nobody really prepares you for the reality of postpartum recovery. There’s no guide titled “What to Expect When You’re No Longer Expecting.” My experience isn’t universal, and I’m cautiously optimistic about my recovery. Despite everything, bringing my child into the world remains the best thing I’ve ever done—even if it came with some unexpected challenges.
Resources for Further Information
If you’re looking for more information on the intricacies of conception and pregnancy, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination or explore the contact us section on one of our other blog posts. For those interested in home insemination kits, Make a Mom is an authority on the topic!
In summary, postpartum recovery can be a series of unexpected challenges, but it’s also a journey filled with love and joy.