I was venting to a colleague about my toddler’s sleep struggles. The night before, she had resisted sleep until nearly 11 p.m. and was up bright and early at 5 a.m., ready for her favorite show. “Sounds like it might be time to eliminate her nap,” he suggested, lifting his eyebrows in that all-too-familiar way. Tom and I have worked together for a while, and while he’s a kind person, he often leans towards the “tough love” approach.
I gave a noncommittal response, but honestly, I had no intention of considering it. I’ve encountered this kind of advice before. Friends without kids often express frustration when I prioritize my child’s naptime over social gatherings. Even my own mother has shown exasperation. It seems she’s forgotten the reality of parenting, because here’s the truth about naps (from my vantage point):
I adore my daughter, Lily. She’s witty, inquisitive, and delightful, but let’s be real—most days, she can be a little monster. This isn’t a reflection of who she will become but rather a testament to the challenges of parenting a 2-year-old, which is undoubtedly one of the most demanding yet rewarding jobs imaginable.
If I wanted to unleash mayhem, the quickest way to do so would be to skip her nap. While I’ve never actively taken away her naptime, there have been instances where she just wouldn’t settle down, and it felt like a wild raccoon had invaded our home, thrashing about emotionally. I refuse to subject myself or my partner, Nina, to that chaos. Not that she couldn’t handle it—she’s incredibly resilient. She’s faced challenges that would leave most people reeling. It’s just that I wouldn’t wish a cranky, overtired toddler on anyone, nor would I want to deny Nina that precious break during the day.
This is the tricky aspect of parenting: you’re often trapped in a catch-22. When trying to ensure your child sleeps at the right times, there’s no perfect solution—at least, not in my experience.
I know there are sleep consultants out there ready to offer advice for a fee. Maybe there’s someone who has an effortlessly sleepy child or someone peddling essential oils. But honestly, this piece isn’t for them. It’s for parents like me, who struggle to establish a regular sleep routine that works until their kids are older. I have three children, and they’ve all been challenging sleepers in their early years. They’ve all been little terrors when they miss a nap, leaving me bleary-eyed and disoriented, sometimes even dozing off on the bus.
My wife and I have had our share of late-night arguments, fueled by exhaustion and confusion. Our little ones have made us question our sanity during daylight hours, and we truly treasure those sacred naptimes.
Ultimately, what I’ve learned about raising my trio is that I can try to manage their sleep, but the decision lies with them. It’s tough to accept, but the best advice I can offer is to cherish those naptimes. Savor every second of them, and if you can, join in. Stay strong and remember that, in time, they’ll likely figure out their sleep needs.
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Summary:
Parenting a toddler often comes with sleepless nights and the struggle to maintain a naptime routine. It’s a balancing act that can leave parents feeling overwhelmed, yet the importance of those precious nap hours cannot be understated. Embrace the chaos and cherish those moments of rest, knowing that eventually, your child will adapt to their sleep needs.