My toddler recently took her first steps, and while she enjoyed it for a fleeting moment, she rapidly transitioned to full-on running, arms flailing, and squealing with delight. She bolts through life with such enthusiasm that I’m often scooping her up just as she approaches the street. Just last week, she was joyfully racing down the sidewalk when she stumbled on a crooked piece of pavement, resulting in a scraped knee and a little bump on her forehead. At this age, you start to recognize your child’s different cries; there’s the tired whimper, the melodramatic fake cry for attention, and the heart-wrenching wail of pain.
I could have prevented that fall. I could have kept her on the grass, or inside, or held her hand tightly at all times. But would that have allowed her to explore the world as she should? Scrapes and bruises are part of childhood. They happen when you’re filled with excitement, running like a whirlwind, blissfully unaware of the little obstacles in your way.
Lately, it feels like we’re inundated with distressing news—stories about violence, accidents, and tragic events. This onslaught of negativity can easily lead us to question our safety and the welfare of our loved ones. We want to believe we are vigilant and that we protect our families at all costs. Yet, in our deep-seated anger and fear, we often lash out.
I see the vitriol directed at parents who dare to let their children roam free, or those who make choices deemed “irresponsible.” It’s as if any misstep in parenting is grounds for judgment. We forget that any child could be the one in distress at the zoo or the theme park, and our anger blinds us to the fact that we’ve all had moments where we weren’t paying full attention. We’ve checked our phones instead of keeping a watchful eye.
In a society that condemns overprotective parenting, we paradoxically call Child Protective Services if we see a child playing outside without constant supervision. It’s time to face a difficult truth:
We are all imperfect parents.
You might hover too much. You might not watch closely enough. You might resort to screen time occasionally. Perhaps you’ve used a toddler leash or you’re raising your child to be multilingual. Maybe your little one has too many scheduled activities, or you’re too lenient. It’s a fine line we all walk.
Today, no matter how you parent, someone is likely criticizing your choices. Fast forward ten years, and our kids will be teenagers, expressing their disdain for us loudly and clearly. In two decades, they may be in therapy, swearing they’ll never repeat our mistakes, and in thirty years, they’ll probably face their own criticisms as new parents.
Imagine if any of us had an imperfect moment aired on national television, scrutinized by every armchair expert with an opinion. It’s easy to criticize another parent’s approach when you’re not in their shoes.
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In summary, parenting is a challenging journey filled with ups and downs, and the truth is, we’re all just doing our best. Embracing our imperfections can lead to more genuine experiences with our children, rather than succumbing to the pressures of unrealistic expectations.