I recently overheard a mother telling her young son, “Remember, you’re a boy. You need to treat girls like flowers!” This exchange occurred while I was at the playground with my son. While I appreciate her good intentions, her words struck a nerve, and I found myself fuming silently. In retrospect, I realize how vital it is to challenge such notions and communicate a different perspective—one that I aim to share with my son through my actions.
Girls, and by extension women, are not fragile flowers. They are powerful trees. Flowers may be beautiful, but they’re also easily damaged and lack the strength to withstand life’s challenges. Trees, in contrast, grow strong and sturdy; they provide shelter, oxygen, and long-lasting resilience. They weather storms and thrive despite adversity.
I wanted to tell that mother to encourage her son to view girls as equals, not as delicate beings to be placed on a pedestal. As a mother of a son, I feel a responsibility to influence how he interacts with girls and women as he matures. I emphasize respect rather than fetishization.
My son often gravitates toward playing with girls, and I remind him to treat them with the same respect as he does with boys: keep hands to yourself, respect personal space, and practice good manners. The girls he plays with are fierce and tenacious. They don’t seek to be treated as fragile; they are strong, capable, and confident, like young saplings finding their footing.
I admire how one of my son’s friends, a strong-willed girl, frequently stands up to him. When he comes to me upset because she asserted herself, I feel a surge of pride for her. I remind him that she has as much right to claim her space as he does. He’s not her leader; he’s her friend.
One of my close friends has a daughter who is almost two, and she’s the only girl in our social circle. Whenever we gather, she’s right in the thick of things, ensuring she’s included. We encourage the boys to be gentle with her because of her age, but we know she can hold her own. If either of the boys tries to hug her and she’s not interested, she firmly pushes them away, proclaiming her space. She’s not fragile; she’s a little warrior, brimming with confidence.
It’s crucial to instill this sense of self-worth in young girls while also allowing boys to witness it. Girls should grow like sturdy trees, developing deep roots that help them understand their value while reaching towards the sky. By nurturing this strength, we empower them to share their energy with the world. Those roots and the love we provide will last a lifetime.
Girls are not flowers; they are resilient trees.
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Summary
It’s essential to shift the narrative around how we view girls—moving away from the delicate flower metaphor to recognizing their strength and resilience as trees. By fostering this mindset in our children, we can empower girls to grow confidently and encourage boys to respect and treat them as equals.