As a mother of over five years, I recently encountered a rather unique experience—carrying a bag of poop without even realizing it. Yes, you read that correctly: a ball of excrement snugly tucked away in a plastic sack, much like a kitten in a cozy basket.
You might be wondering how such a ridiculous situation unfolded. Here’s the scoop: my youngest is currently undergoing potty training. Admittedly, my approach to teaching him the ins and outs of toilet usage is less than refined, often involving a lot of cursing and cleaning.
My son, eager to wear his underwear at all times, is adamant about it. And I thought I was following the standard protocol: if a child has an accident, you remove the offending material from their clothes. You free the poop, if you will. It only makes sense to dispose of the mess instead of letting it stew in cotton underwear like some kind of savage. But ah, how naive I was!
You see, my little munchkin had a monumental accident at preschool yesterday, leaving his teacher to send me a kind text to let me know he was all cleaned up and doing just fine. What she failed to mention was that she had packaged the whole mess in a plastic bag—turd and all. That’s right: a sizable poop encased in his beloved Paw Patrol underwear, all knotted up and secure.
When I arrived to pick him up, I noticed the unmistakable shopping bag hanging from the hook beneath his cubby. Assuming it contained just his soiled underwear, I grabbed it without a second thought. After all, accidents are part of life, and my washing machine has a toddler setting, so I figured it was all good.
As we headed home, my son insisted on holding the bag. I firmly rejected the idea, as letting a toddler manage a bag of dirty underwear seemed like a recipe for disaster. But after five minutes of relentless whining, I relented. He cradled the bag lovingly on his lap throughout the car ride.
Upon reaching home, I decided to deal with the situation before preparing dinner. Untying the sack, I expected to find merely soiled underwear ready for the washing machine. But lo and behold! An enormous turd had become one with the Paw Patrol fabric. My eyes widened in horror as I sprinted outside to the dumpster, tossing the entire package without a second thought. There was absolutely no way I was going to attempt to salvage that pair of pants!
So here’s my unsolicited advice to all involved in childcare: please, for the love of all things sacred, dump the poop! Or at least give a heads-up before handing over a bag of mess. A simple “Hey, there’s a turd in there” could save a lot of heartache.
Note: Since penning this, I’ve learned that daycare providers and preschool teachers are required to send home the soiled items without removing the poop for sanitation reasons—totally understandable. However, I still firmly advocate for the practice of turd-tossing, regardless of the clothing involved.
For more insights on parenting and related topics, check out our other blog posts, including those on home insemination kits.
Summary:
In a humorous recount of a comically unfortunate situation, a mother shares her experience of unknowingly carrying a bag containing her child’s poop, highlighting the importance of communication and sanitary practices in childcare.