Co-sleeping is likely more prevalent than you might assume. In today’s parenting landscape, many parents are willing to admit various “guilty” practices: “I let my child spend too much time in front of the TV,” “I can’t wait for school drop-off,” and “I secretly enjoy it when they refuse to wear a jacket and get chilly.” These confessions often elicit laughter and camaraderie among fellow parents. However, some choices, like co-sleeping, remain shrouded in secrecy and stigma.
In her book, “Co-Sleeping: Parents, Children, and Musical Beds,” Dr. Lisa Thompson of the University of Iowa engaged with 51 parents who practice co-sleeping and discovered that nearly half did not disclose this information to their family or their children’s pediatricians due to feelings of shame. While this is a limited sample size, it’s not hard to believe that this sentiment resonates with many co-sleeping families.
The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against bed-sharing due to its association with Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and other sleep-related fatalities. However, for every cautionary tale, there’s a compelling counterargument. Notably, in an op-ed for the New York Times, researchers Sarah and James Lee highlight that in countries like Japan, co-sleeping with infants is a cultural norm, yet they boast one of the lowest infant mortality rates globally, with SIDS rates significantly lower than those in the United States.
The notion that co-sleeping is hazardous isn’t universally accepted; and if the majority of the world engages in this practice, it’s worth questioning why the Western approach differs. Dr. Thompson remarked, “American society often lacks a communal approach to parenting. It is a highly competitive culture, where parents feel solely responsible for any issues their children face.”
Although most debates around co-sleeping center on infants, parents who share beds with older children often remain tight-lipped as well. Despite the absence of safety concerns, there are social stigmas tied to bed-sharing with older kids. For instance, an article in The Guardian titled, “The Risks of Co-Sleeping With Older Children and Tips to Transition,” links this practice to potential issues such as diminished self-reliance, lowered self-esteem, relationship strain, and even the psychological well-being of the parents themselves. No wonder many parents choose to keep this choice to themselves!
Bed-sharing may not be for everyone. If you feel it’s unsafe, it’s best to avoid it. However, if you believe in the benefits of co-sleeping, that’s perfectly valid too. This isn’t a discussion about child abuse; it’s simply about sharing a bed with your children. Observing parenting practices from around the globe can help cultivate a more open mindset regarding the choices our friends and family make.
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In summary, a significant number of parents who co-sleep do so in silence due to societal pressures and misconceptions about the practice. While some may view it as a controversial choice, it remains a common parenting approach across various cultures. Opening up the conversation about co-sleeping can lead to a better understanding of the diverse parenting styles that exist today.