“My name is Lucas, and I’m 9 years old. Living with OCD is really tough. Going to school is hard because I worry I’ll do something strange, like shout out bad words or embarrass myself by spitting food on the ground and then putting it back in my mouth. I don’t want to do these things, but my OCD brain keeps pushing me to. This makes me feel anxious all the time. Even at home, it’s the same. At night, I often feel like swearing or checking under my bed for monsters. When I get a bruise or cut, I sometimes feel like I want to hurt it more. So every day feels like a battle, and I’m often stressed or in a bad mood.”
These are the thoughts of my son, Lucas. He is a wonderful child: imaginative, lively, and caring. Yet, he struggles with feelings of isolation and stress. Last night, he confided in me that he just wants a normal life, one not overshadowed by OCD. It breaks my heart to see him feel so powerless against this condition.
Lucas’s Typical School Day
Lucas describes his typical school day as follows:
- 9:00 a.m. – “Morning meeting: It’s fun but makes me anxious because I fear I might shout something embarrassing in front of everyone.”
- 9:30 a.m. – “Math: I worry a lot here about making loud noises or writing something inappropriate on the board.”
- 10:30 a.m. – “Reading: More anxiety about swearing or making loud noises in a quiet room.”
- 11:10 a.m. – “Recess and lunch: I usually enjoy recess, but I sometimes feel the urge to hurt myself. I’m glad it’s warm outside because I won’t get stuck if I put my tongue on the metal poles. At the start of the year, I couldn’t help but look directly at the sun. During lunch, I eat in groups of three bites and sometimes I drop food on purpose and feel like I should eat it off the floor.”
- 12:00 p.m. – “Writing: This class is the hardest for me. I like my teacher, but because it’s so quiet and I’m still high-strung from recess, I feel intense pressure not to swear or make sounds or tear my paper.”
- 12:30 p.m. – “Specialists: This is gym class once a week, which is nice. I have fewer urges to act out here, but art, music, and Spanish still stress me out like the rest of the day.”
- 1:35 p.m. – “Social Studies and Science: Some days are okay when we are busy, but on quieter days, I feel very anxious about making noise or dropping things.”
- 2:30 p.m. – “Free-choice time: This is when I finally feel at ease. I can read or play without worrying too much about being quiet.”
- 3:30 p.m. – “The bus is fine unless I sit near the emergency alarm. If I do, I feel a strong urge to pull it, which makes it hard for me to focus.”
He also shared, “When I walk down the hall, I have to touch my knees to the ground in threes (right knee down, left knee down, right knee down). There are a lot of other things too, like urges to scribble on my paper or take things that aren’t mine. Last week, I bruised my leg, and sometimes I feel like hitting it with a hammer. I know it would hurt, but my OCD brain tells me I should. It’s really difficult to explain these urges to others.”
Lucas wants to share his story to help others understand what he goes through. He feels worn out from battling OCD and the fear of being discovered makes everything worse. He wants to feel accepted and hopes that despite having OCD, he is still “OK.” If you understand OCD from your own experiences, he would appreciate any encouraging comments to let him know he is not alone and that there is hope for him.
For those unfamiliar with OCD, thank you for taking the time to read this. It’s hard for those without OCD to comprehend the constant struggle against its urges. If Lucas’s words can help foster understanding and empathy, please let him know he has made a difference.
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In summary, Lucas’s experiences highlight the daily challenges faced by children with OCD. His heartfelt words serve as a reminder of the importance of understanding and support, both for those who suffer from OCD and for those who care about them.