Showing Up with Love: The One Constant We Can Embrace in Parenting

home insemination Kit

“Is she really that sick? Can’t we do something?”

My husband’s panicked whisper pierced the quiet of the night, barely audible over our daughter’s wails. My 16-month-old was struggling, her runny nose a persistent reminder of her discomfort despite our efforts with saline and suction. The moment her cries escalated, my maternal instincts kicked in—I knew it was likely an ear infection.

His worry was understandable; he’s the type of dad who bathes the kids every night and is always hands-on. Yet his questions only intensified my anxiety, making it difficult for me to keep my composure.

“Are you sure she’s okay?”

I tried to quell both his apprehension and my own doubts, but he persisted, “Jenna, she’s in pain. Call the doctor!”

At that moment, my patience snapped. “Just go to bed! I can handle this. It’s probably just an ear infection. Trust me.”

Yes, I can get pretty irritable at night—it’s not my finest hour. But after nearly a decade and four kids, I’ve navigated enough late-night crises to understand the routine. Unless it’s an emergency, I just have to make it through until morning when the pediatrician’s office opens.

I arranged pillows to support my back in a position that seemed to soothe my daughter. She nestled against me, and we managed to steal a few hours of sleep.

When I awoke, the rich scent of coffee filled the room. My husband, a tea drinker, had made a gesture of kindness that suggested he had forgiven my earlier outburst.

Fueled by love and caffeine, I mustered the energy to get the older kids ready for school before taking my little one to the pediatrician.

After examining her ear, the pediatrician grimaced. “Wow! This one is really bad. She has a perforated eardrum.”

My heart raced at the severity of the diagnosis. “We’ve dealt with many ear infections but never this,” I stammered, guilt flooding in. “I should have brought her in sooner, but she didn’t have a fever until yesterday. I assumed…”

“Jenna, she’ll be fine,” the doctor reassured me. “You know better than to dwell on what you should have done. This sounds worse than it is. I’ll prescribe antibiotics and ear drops. Bring her back in two weeks for a follow-up. You’ve got this.”

Relief washed over me. My child would be alright, and I felt validated in my parenting abilities.

My pediatrician, a mother herself with kids close in age to mine, has not only offered encouragement over the years but also shared her own struggles. In that moment of vulnerability, I summed up our past conversations: “Motherhood is a delicate balance of determination and surrender. It’s tough to know when to push and when to let go.”

She nodded silently, her eyes moist with understanding. We shared a moment of connection, perhaps stronger for having acknowledged our mutual challenges.

I must admit, my eloquent summary was just me repackaging her wisdom in prettier words. A few years back, during my son’s recovery from a severe burn injury, she reminded me how my love and dedication made me a good mom, even amidst circumstances that felt beyond my control.

In today’s world of parenting, we often strive for perfection and fear failure so much that when we do stumble, it can be overwhelming.

But it was in those trying moments that I found love. Love was what kept me grounded when I received the news about my son’s injuries and what sustained me through his painful recovery. And love was what I reached for to remain calm during the eardrum crisis.

Once home from the doctor’s visit, I was disheveled, still in my pajamas. I noticed my daughter’s ear had leaked while she slept against me, a messy reminder of my perceived shortcomings as a parent.

Instead of wallowing in guilt over not seeking help sooner, I chose to take a shower. I learned that shame and guilt won’t fix anything that’s broken. After my son’s survival left him with scars I couldn’t erase, I learned to embrace forgiveness over remorse.

That simple act of self-kindness—a hot shower—shifted my perspective. It reminded me of a moment earlier when my son had comforted his sister. “Mom, I’ll hold her,” he said, snuggling her against his chest. Despite his own scars, he demonstrated kindness I believe he learned from watching my love in action.

If we choose to forgive ourselves and embrace love, we can transform our experiences after adversity. In my quest to accept imperfection, I have learned to show up with love, not only for my children but also for myself. Love is what empowers me to be the mom they need.

We just need to keep showing up with love. We’ve got this.

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Summary

In the journey of motherhood, love emerges as the defining factor that allows us to navigate challenges and imperfections. A mother’s instinct often leads her through difficult nights, and the support of medical professionals can bolster confidence. Embracing love for both our children and ourselves can transform moments of doubt into opportunities for growth and connection.