Imagine a picture of my ex and me at one of our child’s games, smiling and cheering together. Just kidding! That doesn’t exist because, quite frankly, we’ve never shared that kind of camaraderie. I never even thought to snap a pic for social media.
In recent years, social media has inundated us with heartwarming posts showcasing divorced parents coming together as a united front for their kids. These snapshots are undoubtedly uplifting, offering a glimmer of hope to newly separated parents who are anxious about their children’s well-being.
But then come the comments. You know the ones:
- “Lucky kids!”
- “This is how it should be for all divorced couples!”
- “If only everyone could set aside their differences!”
- “Too bad some parents can’t be mature about it.”
If you relate to the struggle of not being best buddies with your ex, you might find yourself questioning your choices. Let me assure you: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Isn’t it ironic? Many of those who criticize us for not maintaining a friendship with our exes are often just armchair critics, believing they know what’s right for everyone. They don’t understand our unique situations; we do. For some of us, that means maintaining a respectful distance during games and limiting interactions to texts or emails. It might even mean celebrating our children’s milestones without the ex present.
Being civil and professional with an ex can be a healthier choice for both you and your kids. Nobody has the right to judge how you navigate the often tumultuous landscape of post-divorce parenting—unless, of course, you’re harming your children by disparaging their other parent or using them as pawns in your disputes. Those are no-brainers, right?
If you’ve managed to stay on friendly terms with your ex, congratulations! That’s great for your kids. But if you’ve opted for a more distant, respectful relationship, that’s also commendable. Both approaches can be beneficial for your children.
The truth is, you can’t fully grasp the complexities behind a marriage’s end unless you’ve experienced it yourself. Some divorces are amicable—two people simply realizing they’ve grown apart. Others are more akin to a storm, leaving emotional wreckage in their wake. After such experiences, it’s crucial to choose friends who truly support your well-being and that of your children.
When you prioritize your mental health and decide against a friendship with someone who has hurt you, you’re teaching your children about the consequences of actions. It’s a lesson in accountability and respect.
While we’ll continue to see those idyllic images of co-parents singing “Kumbaya” on the sidelines, it’s essential to remember that you’re doing just fine, even if your reality looks different.
For those exploring the journey of parenthood, check out this insightful post on home insemination and fertility to keep you informed. Additionally, Make a Mom provides excellent resources for couples on their fertility journey. For more information on fertility treatments, visit March of Dimes.
In summary, whether you choose to be friends with your ex or keep it strictly professional, what matters most is that you prioritize your children’s well-being. Embrace the approach that feels right for you and your family.