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Thank You for Your Concern, but I’m Absolutely Fine
Navigating Self-Image and Health in a Weight-Obsessed World
It’s strange to realize that one of the most significant challenges I’ve faced as an adult traces back to a choice I made when I was just 13. At that age, I discovered I could essentially deprive myself of food without drawing attention, particularly from my weight-conscious mother. I didn’t want to transition into my teenage years—my sister was already enduring constant scrutiny about her weight. I aimed to go unnoticed, avoiding the natural curves of my Greek-Italian heritage and keeping my size out of family conversations.
For much of my life, I haven’t known what it feels like to have a healthy relationship with food and exercise. Instead, I’ve battled eating disorders for as long as I can remember. What I do recognize is that my struggles reflect what I observe on social media daily. In today’s digital culture, it’s become commonplace to document your workouts or food intake, yet the same platform that celebrates extreme dieting often shames those who simply exist in larger bodies.
“Just because the average size is 16 doesn’t mean it should be or that it’s okay to be. I’m all for loving your body, but glorifying obesity isn’t okay.”
When people share their triumphs over fitness goals or the latest detox regimen, it’s met with encouragement. Yet, if someone gains weight, they become the subject of unsolicited health advice from internet “experts.”
In my early twenties, I was often fainting, but since I was thin, no one questioned my health. Ironically, I was undernourished and overexerted. My friends laughed it off as a quirky trait—“Oh, Jenna fainted again!”—but the reality was that I was struggling, and my humor masked a more serious issue.
“You’re allowing yourself to be fat. Go shop in the ‘fat stores.’”
Recently, I penned a piece about the difficulties of finding clothes in sizes 14-16, which is frustrating, especially considering that this is the average size for American women today. While many women resonated with my experience, body shaming was rampant in the comments. It became evident that the issue wasn’t my weight but rather my confidence in speaking out about it. How dare I want clothes that fit my size 16 frame?
It’s been four years since I abandoned the disordered habits that once consumed my life, and during that time, I’ve gained 45 pounds. The journey hasn’t been easy, especially for someone who once obsessed over the scale. Yet, I haven’t been idle; I welcomed my second child, relocated twice, switched careers, and dealt with personal challenges—not that these nuances seem to matter to those quick to judge.
“Quit whining. Lose weight, ladies.”
Am I sometimes discontent with my reflection? Absolutely—I’m human. However, those moments of self-doubt pale in comparison to the times I was curled up on the bathroom floor, wishing to disappear. After a recent bout of anxiety that led me to question my health, I underwent numerous medical exams. Every test returned with excellent results, confirming I’m in great shape.
The unsolicited concern about my health during my weight gain is perplexing, especially when there were countless moments throughout my past when I truly needed help. Yes, the last few years had some unhealthy habits, but life can thrust anyone into survival mode, where your appearance is the last thing on your mind.
After decades of struggling with my body image, I’ve found peace in what I see in the mirror—despite being the heaviest I’ve ever been—and I refuse to apologize for it. So, to all the armchair doctors online: I’m thriving. I’m not only healthy, but I also have a supportive circle of colleagues and friends who value me for who I am. I will continue to share my narrative, including the realities of living in a larger body because I deserve clothes that fit me.
If you’re navigating similar challenges, this link will take you to one of our other blog posts on related topics worth exploring. Also, if you’re looking for expert insights on fertility, check out Make a Mom, which is a great resource. For more information on fertility, Medical News Today offers excellent articles.
In summary, I’m stepping away from self-criticism and embracing the body I have right now. It’s time to move beyond societal expectations and focus on living a fulfilling life, regardless of my size.