The Gross Truth: When Your Child Becomes a Booger Eater

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A few years back, we were visiting some friends who have kids the same age as ours. While the little ones ran around playing, the adults enjoyed a nice chat. However, my trip to the kitchen for a glass of water led to a shocking discovery: my child’s grimy socks were crumpled up on the kitchen counter.

You might think this behavior could be excused if my child were a toddler, but no—this was a 10-year-old.

I wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but it’s far from it. I like to think of myself as a reasonably cultured person. Sure, we laugh at fart jokes now and then, but that’s about the extent of our uncouth habits. My spouse and I have tried our best to instill good manners in our children and steer them away from repulsive behavior. Yet, I fear we’ve fallen short.

One child, who will remain nameless, had a habit of picking their nose and wiping it on their pillow every night. I’m guessing it was nightly, given the impressive amount of crusty remnants I found during laundry day. Disgusting.

All three of our kids went through a phase of nose-picking, despite our efforts to demonstrate proper tissue use and the countless reminders to keep their fingers out of their noses. No amount of nagging seemed to deter them from this habit.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, we sometimes caught them in the act of not just picking their noses, but eating the boogers too. I almost gagged just writing that. I vividly recall a moment with one of my kids at age 4, deeply engaged in their nasal excavation while seated at a table with other diners. When I told them to remove their finger, they pulled out a massive booger and, just as I began to suggest they grab a tissue, they popped it right into their mouth. It was as if time slowed down, my panicked plea echoing, “Go grab a…noooooo!” The public setting only intensified my embarrassment.

I continually wonder where we went wrong. Are children inherently gross? Does it truly take years of training to mold them into civilized beings? Are ours just on the more icky side of normal?

The worst part is the judgment I can feel from others when they witness our kids’ caveman-like antics. As parents, shouldn’t we have taught them better? Every time one of them pulls a gross stunt, I want to hold up a sign saying, “I SWEAR WE’RE NOT RAISING THEM LIKE THIS!”

On the bright side, we’ve successfully guided one child into their teen years, and thankfully, they’re no longer embarrassing in public. Our middle-schooler has also become much less cringe-worthy, so it seems our parenting may be effective in the long run.

I felt a wave of relief recently when a friend’s son visited and left his dirty socks on our dining table. He’s also 10. My immediate reaction was disgust, but then I thought, “Oh, thank goodness!” It’s comforting to know we’re not alone in this parenting journey.

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In summary, every parent faces unique challenges, and while we may feel embarrassed by our children’s antics, we aren’t alone. With patience and humor, we can navigate these messy moments together.