If You Relate to These 6 Signs, You Might Be a Coffee Aficionado (Like Me)

Updated: May 5, 2017

Originally Published: May 5, 2017

Like most rational individuals, I’m a coffee enthusiast. And yes, I’ll admit it—I’m a bit of a coffee snob. Go ahead and chuckle; I can handle it. Mock me with your flashy Unicorn Frappuccinos while I savor my meticulously crafted cup of a premium African blend, delighting in its rich, roasted aroma.

Before you throw your coffee sleeve at me, let me clarify. Being a coffee snob doesn’t mean I’m a connoisseur, nor do I judge others for their coffee picks. I grew up with a standard Mr. Coffee brewing store-bought brands every morning at 6:30 a.m. My mom couldn’t start her day without a strong black coffee. When I snuck a sip, it felt like drinking battery acid mixed with gym socks. I could never understand why anyone would willingly consume such bitterness daily.

It wasn’t until my mid-20s that I had my first full cup of coffee after rolling into work feeling terrible from the night before. A colleague handed me a chipped mug and pointed me to the coffee maker. That first cup was rough, but it jolted me out of my vodka-induced haze, and from that moment, I was hooked. After a few months of drinking whatever mediocre coffee was available, I realized that if I was going to indulge daily, I might as well enjoy the best. Thus began my journey into the world of quality coffee.

I don’t possess a fancy kettle or a high-end grinder, nor do I subscribe to coffee magazines or follow coffee blogs. However, I do like to know the origins of my beans and their roasting process. I may even jokingly use an Italian accent to describe a blend as “fragrant with a hint of cherry wood.” (Okay, maybe not the accent part.)

What I truly appreciate is how a superb cup of coffee elevates my mood—making me feel cared for, engaged, and for a few hours, invincible. If that qualifies me as a snob, then so be it. Curious if you might be a coffee snob too? If you find yourself nodding along to this list, welcome to the club:

1. I refuse to drink just any coffee, even in desperate times.

There’s no chance I’ll settle for subpar coffee, even when caffeine-deprived. At home, I’m patient for that perfect cup (see No. 2). If I’m grabbing an espresso, I can wait an hour or more to sip. I’d rather endure a caffeine headache than drink anything less than stellar.

2. Brewing coffee at home is a sacred ritual.

I’m an AeroPress devotee which means I boil water, assemble everything, measure the grounds, add water, stir, let it drip, add more water, stir again, then press until I hear a satisfying whoosh. I have three special mugs that my family knows are off-limits. I carefully add sugar and just a splash of milk (a true coffee aficionado would never add anything, mind you), close my eyes, and take a sip. Those moments with my coffee are pure bliss. (Disclaimer: My partner usually makes my coffee in the morning, which makes it taste even better.)

3. I’ll go out of my way for great coffee.

I’ll travel distances to visit a beloved café. We coffee enthusiasts appreciate a social atmosphere. Finding a café that strikes the perfect balance of amazing coffee, skilled baristas, and a welcoming vibe is worth it. Plus, there’s something special about the barista knowing your order without you saying a word.

4. I’m familiar with the terminology (mostly).

I can distinguish between a latte and a cappuccino, a flat white and a caffe breve, and I know that the crema on a quality espresso drink isn’t related to cream. That said, I’m equally content with a well-brewed cup of straightforward coffee. No Folgers for me!

5. I don’t purchase pre-ground coffee.

Once coffee has been ground for about five days, it loses its freshness, no matter how well it’s stored. Without a high-end grinder (those are pricey!), I ask the barista to grind just the right amount for five days of brewing. If you’re buying beans at the grocery store, most places have grinders available in the coffee aisle.

6. I have a deep appreciation for Starbucks.

While my palate has expanded beyond the green mermaid’s offerings, I will always credit Starbucks for introducing me to the wonders of good espresso. The same year I discovered my coffee passion, a Starbucks opened nearby, forever changing my coffee experience. Plus, anyone who claims Pumpkin Spice Lattes aren’t fantastic or doesn’t swoon over a White Peppermint Mocha is surely lying.

So yes, I embrace my identity as a coffee snob. I know I’m not alone in this delightful obsession. If you’re interested in similar topics, you might enjoy reading about home insemination on this blog post, or check out this helpful resource for more information.

In summary, being a coffee snob is all about appreciating quality, understanding the craft, and enjoying the experience. Whether you’re brewing at home or seeking the perfect café, there’s a world of flavors and aromas waiting to be explored.