You just walked in after a long day in seventh grade, bursting with excitement to change into your pajamas and enjoy some pizza (a thought I share every day around 3 p.m.). After that, you planned to FaceTime with your friends. Watching you engage with your group of besties during sleepovers, sports, and endless conversations brings me joy, and I hope you cherish these moments for as long as possible.
As you transition through high school and into college, stay close to your old friends, but also embrace new ones. Go on adventures, travel, and spend late nights discussing dreams and aspirations. Support one another through heartaches and the stresses of school and adulthood.
Most importantly, please don’t rush into settling down, seeking “the one,” or starting a family. There’s no deadline for meeting societal expectations. Don’t let anyone pressure you into making these big decisions before you’re truly ready.
Before diving into that next chapter of your life, I urge you to experience living on your own for a while. This is a gift you can give yourself, even if you find love early. I’m not sharing this because I rushed into marriage and family too quickly, but because I cherished my time alone. I lived independently for over three years before your dad moved in, and it was one of the most transformative experiences of my life.
During that time, I discovered who I truly am and what I value. Living alone brings a sense of peace, allowing you to discern what enhances your life versus what detracts from it. You’ll learn to address drama and step away from toxic relationships.
I became responsible for my own finances, managing my car payments and opening a checking account under my name. When you’re the sole person handling expenses, you quickly learn to appreciate your job and work hard to afford what you want, knowing you can’t rely on anyone else. It’s empowering to depend solely on yourself.
You’ll also become comfortable with your own thoughts, which can sometimes feel lonely, but ultimately teaches you to find happiness within. Whether it’s dancing around in your room or enjoying a quiet evening, I want you to discover the joy of being your own person.
Going from sharing a bathroom with siblings to having one all to yourself in college is pure bliss. You can keep it as tidy or chaotic as you wish, which is liberating.
You’ll grow stronger and more independent as you navigate life on your own. While asking for help is perfectly okay, you’ll learn to make decisions and differentiate between your needs and wants. And believe me, never hesitate to reach out to your dad or me when you need support.
There will be times when you’ll have to tackle challenges solo, especially late at night when help is unavailable. Each time you successfully handle something difficult alone, your confidence and determination will flourish. You’ll realize just how capable you are, and the question “Can I do this?” will transform into “I can do anything.”
While I won’t dictate your journey, I sincerely hope you consider this advice. You won’t regret it, and I’d love to come visit and enjoy some Cheetos with you, reliving those fun moments of independence.
For additional guidance on parenting and home insemination, you can explore this article on living independently here. If you’re looking to boost your fertility, check out this resource from Make A Mom. For comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, Mount Sinai offers excellent resources.
Summary
This letter encourages young women to embrace living independently before committing to romantic relationships. It emphasizes self-discovery, responsibility, and the importance of personal growth during formative years.