My son taps the microphone. “Are you watching?” he asks.
“I’m watching,” I reply, settling onto the couch beside our loyal pup as the karaoke app loads a familiar tune for the third time.
My middle schooler shifts in excitement, and I momentarily indulge in the fantasy that maybe this time, he’ll nail it. With enough dedication and practice, who knows? Perhaps he could become the singer he dreams of being.
He belts out the first line, and I tense up. The dog shifts, clearly unimpressed. As the chorus swells, our furry friend decides to exit the room. My son? The wonderful, bright, kind kid I adore? He gives it all he’s got, hitting some shaky notes along the way.
“Was I good?” he asks, breathless and flushed.
It’s tempting to say yes; I’ve done it before.
“Mom, do you like this drawing?”
“Like it? I love it.”
“Mom, aren’t those clouds cool?”
“Absolutely, those are the coolest clouds I’ve ever seen.”
While a little white lie can boost confidence, it can also mislead. A quick look at past seasons of talent shows like American Idol reveals numerous hopefuls who were woefully out of touch with their abilities. Sometimes, honesty is crucial.
Right now, as my son practices for a music audition, I know I must choose my words wisely: “It was decent.”
He looks at me with anticipation. “Good enough for a show?”
“I think there’s an age requirement, right?” Even if that’s not accurate, I’m using it to sidestep the pressure.
“You know what I mean. Can I be a star?”
And there it is.
“Well,” I start, aiming for a relaxed tone, “everyone has unique talents. While your singing is good, it may not be your standout skill. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it.”
“So, you’re saying I was awful.”
“No. I’m saying everyone excels in different areas. To really succeed as a singer, you need to be exceptional at it.”
“Do you think I could be extraordinary if I take lessons?”
“Maybe,” I say, hoping to reignite my belief. I recall Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers and the idea of mastering a skill through practice.
Years ago, when we attended music classes together, the instructor—an easygoing woman reminiscent of the 1960s—shared a similar thought: no child is born with a good or bad voice; it’s about experience. She would likely agree with Gladwell’s view that talent often comes from hard work rather than innate ability.
But even if dedication can lead to mastery, I wonder if we need a certain level of raw talent. If I promote mediocrity in hopes of eventual excellence, am I steering my child away from pursuing what comes naturally to him?
I remember my own struggles with writing in my youth; I was not very good at it, but persistence paid off. I’ve become decent over the years, and I’m grateful I explored other creative avenues that helped sustain my passion.
It suddenly dawns on me during this karaoke session: I can support his singing as a hobby without pushing it to the forefront. If he’s truly passionate, he’ll continue to practice, just as I did. He can sing along to the radio, perform for family, and I’ll provide honest yet loving feedback. But rushing into voice lessons might distract him from exploring his other talents.
Then, there’s the big question: why does he want to be famous?
“Why is being a celebrity so appealing?” I ask, plucking fuzz from the couch.
“Because then everyone knows you.”
“And for what? Wouldn’t it be better to be known for something that truly makes a difference? Like curing diseases or helping people?”
“I can do all that when I’m famous.”
Touché.
“Let me try one more time, and you can give me your honest feedback…” I lean back to listen. To my surprise, he sounds better than before.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while it’s natural to encourage our children to pursue their passions, it’s equally important to guide them with honesty. Supporting their interests while helping them discover their true talents can lead to a more fulfilling journey.
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