To the Mothers Who Raised Us, Defying All Expectations

As contemporary mothers, we often place immense pressure on ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t brought up by the “World’s Greatest Mom.” Instead, I had the Okayest Mom on Earth who genuinely didn’t care about the conventional standards of parenting. The kind of mother who shatters all greeting card clichés.

Last holiday season, my mother turned to my sister and me and declared, “I raised two strong, independent women, and honestly, I’m not quite sure how that happened—it wasn’t my plan.” We completely understand, Mom, oh how we understand.

Yet, despite her delightful chaos, she still expects a lavish tribute on Mother’s Day. And because of my mom, it’s worthwhile to reminisce about all the okayest mothers who shaped us and remind ourselves that we’re doing just fine. We could all use a little self-esteem boost.

You don’t smoke like a chimney.

When was the last time you looked around your home and thought, “This place radiates dive bar vibes?” Never? Good for you! That means you likely aren’t chain-smoking in front of your kids or in your home. All that candy your children indulge in? Doesn’t seem so terrible anymore, does it?

You use kitchen tools for their real purpose.

The “Wooden Spoon” was practically a family member in our household. I was crafty enough to hide it before it could be deployed, but I can assure you that your kids probably don’t know that kitchen tools can serve dual purposes. When I mention “wooden spoon,” my daughter thinks of baking cookies, not dodging danger.

You actually secure your kids in car seats.

After her divorce, my mother took me on a trip to the Jersey Shore with her new boyfriend, who drove a two-seater Datsun. The unique design had the engine in the back, which is where my mother decided to stash me for the two-hour return journey when I was ten. So those guidelines about car seats? We’re all for them.

You lean towards healthy foods instead of boxed meals.

At age nine, my mom placed me on a SlimFast diet—not because I was overweight, but because I was short (still am, actually). Her concern over potential bullying led to a meal plan made up of unidentifiable substances posing as chocolate milk. And we’re fretting over breast milk versus formula?

You can’t fathom abandoning your kids.

I barely managed to utter the words, “I’m expecting” before my mom made a swift exit from Pennsylvania to New Jersey. Nothing screams, “I’m here for you” like a quick getaway. She claims it was just bad timing. I’ve moved on. Attachment parenting is not the forte of our okayest mothers.

You have a support system—at least a therapist—for tough times.

There was a period when I struggled so profoundly as a young mother that my mom drove two hours just to hand me a bottle of her antidepressants and then left. Hug your kids a little tighter right now.

That time I dubbed my mom “The Okayest Mom on the Planet” and she reveled in it. Without her, my life would resemble a straight-to-DVD film that you’d skip over during a Netflix binge.

Every story she tells enhances the narrative, every mistake she’s made just adds character, and there isn’t a well-meaning mother who hasn’t stumbled along the way. I’m grateful to learn from an original, just taking notes.

May we all aim not for the title of Best Mom, but proudly embrace our pursuit of being the okayest. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Your card is on its way.

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Summary:

This piece humorously reflects on the unconventional ways our mothers raised us, showcasing their flaws and the lessons we learned from them. Acknowledging the resilience and strength of okayest mothers, it encourages a more forgiving perspective on parenting.