10 Things That Have Me Shaking My Head and Asking “What the Heck?”

The world we live in is undeniably bizarre and fascinating, right? We can now snag bags filled with only the pink Starbursts—no more suffering through the gross yellow ones. There are mommy-and-me mermaid swim classes, goat yoga, and an endless array of unicorn-themed everything. What a time to be alive, wouldn’t you agree?

But amidst the joy of wild trends like penis leggings and Ludacris rapping “Llama, Llama” (seriously, I could jam to that all day), it feels like the world has lost its marbles at times. I usually pride myself on being a live-and-let-live type, steering clear of any drama. But goodness gracious, there’s some downright ridiculous stuff happening out there. Lately, I’ve found myself swearing more often because sometimes there are just no other words. Seriously, what on earth is going on?

Here are a few things that have me shaking my head, uttering “what the heck,” and occasionally screaming “forget this” while employing a variety of other colorful phrases.

1. Fashion That’s Just Outrageous

I’ll admit, I’ve never been a trendsetter, and high-fashion shows leave me scratching my head. But recently, I’ve been puzzled more than usual. Leading the pack in this fashion folly is a certain department store. Once my go-to for stylish shoes and dresses, it now leaves me baffled regularly. First, it was clear-knee jeans (seriously, how do you even wear those?), then $1,200 sock sandals (wait, what?!), and now $425 jeans with fake mud on them. Because nothing says “fashionable” like faux dirt on designer jeans. And let’s not forget when an employee shamed a mother for breastfeeding in the bathroom—come on, you’re better than this!

2. What’s Up with HGTV?

I love a good home renovation show as much as anyone. Who doesn’t enjoy watching a space get demolished and then rebuilt with all the trendy touches? But I’m starting to wonder, what’s happening on HGTV? Whether it’s a family of seven searching for a tiny house on wheels or a couple who sells artisanal granola and teaches dog meditation looking for a beach house for $985,000, it’s getting a bit wild. Even the queen of shabby chic, Joanna Gaines, is hawking $90 throw pillows and rugs that cost a fortune. Seriously, HGTV, you’re a little tipsy.

3. Absurdity Everywhere

Nonsense, foolishness, and downright stupidity abound these days. I usually try to stay optimistic about humanity, but it’s getting harder. I can’t watch the news without tearing up. Comment sections online are often filled with negativity, and social media is overwhelmed with #humblebrags, misinformation, and weight-loss schemes. It’s becoming increasingly challenging to stay in my happy bubble when it feels like the world has gone completely bonkers.

4. People Who Still Say “All Lives Matter”

Nope. Just no. If you don’t understand why this is problematic, I encourage you to do some reading. Until marginalized communities can walk the streets without fear, it’s clear that some lives are valued more than others, and that’s incredibly messed up. We can and must do better.

5. All the -Isms

This isn’t 1950; it’s 2023. Let’s be clear: HELL NO to racism, xenophobia, sexism, and all the other discriminatory attitudes. I won’t entertain any defense of this nonsense in the comments—just stop.

6. Weird Trends Among Kids

Bottle flipping, DIY slime, fidget spinners—what even is this? While these trends are harmless compared to bigger issues, I can’t handle another bottle flip or cleaning up homemade goo from my floors. (Though, I will admit, fidget spinners can be oddly satisfying.)

7. Commenters Who Don’t Read

Dear readers, if you begin with “I didn’t read the article, but…” and then launch into your opinion, I’m just going to respond, “Sorry, I didn’t read your comment, but you’re being ridiculous.” Let’s chant together: “Read before you comment!”

8. Number 45

Enough said. Go ahead and express all your frustrations about this one.

9. Dishonest People

Growing up, my mom told me I was “honest as the ace of spades,” and while I’m not entirely sure what that means, I have little patience for liars and anyone who bends the truth. I can sense inauthenticity from a mile away, and I want nothing to do with it.

10. Pearl Clutchers

I’m baffled by those who navigate the chaos of parenting and the world without swearing. Seriously, how do you do it? But just because I embrace the occasional expletive doesn’t mean I’m judging you for your choice of language. Please don’t tell me to “talk like a lady” or “watch my language.” I’m an adult, thank you very much.

How else would we cope with all these frustrations without a good “what the heck” or “forget this” every now and then? It’s become a necessary part of stress relief.

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In summary, while the world can often feel overwhelming and absurd, it’s essential to find humor and release through candid expressions. Embrace the chaos; it’s a wild ride.