Growing up, my family was constantly on the move. By the time I turned 10, I had lived in several places, never staying in one location for more than a couple of years. My father’s job often required transfers, leading to the all-too-familiar announcement: “Kids, we’re off on another adventure!” This typically meant I was the new kid at school yet again, my belongings packed away for months, and my social life turned upside down.
While I became skilled at making new friends and adjusting to my surroundings, deep down, I yearned for stability. I dreamed of a life where I could leave something in the basement and still remember it years later. I envied those kids who attended school with the same friends from kindergarten through high school, and I longed for the closeness of extended family living nearby.
As I grew older, I decided that I would establish my own roots, planting a family tree firmly in one spot. I wanted my children to have the sense of home that I lacked during my childhood. So when my father announced during my college years that he and my mother were moving across the country with my younger brothers, I made a pivotal decision. I chose to stay in my college town, determined to build the life I had started. Although my parents supported my choice, the guilt lingered. But I had met my now-husband, and together we would finally create the stable home environment I had always desired.
Living far away from family is not without its challenges. Coordinating holiday plans often leaves one side feeling neglected, and missing out on everyday moments in relatives’ lives can be tough. Although modern technology like texting and video calls helps bridge the gap, seeing family gatherings on social media can be a painful reminder of the distance. However, having family scattered across the country also comes with unexpected benefits.
1. No Unannounced Visits
I love my family, but let’s be real: early morning visits before coffee aren’t ideal. With relatives living far away, visits are planned in advance, allowing everyone to prepare. I can stock up on their favorite snacks, and they won’t find me in my pajamas, frantically tidying up.
2. More Joyful Reunions
When my kids know we’re visiting their grandparents for our annual winter trip, their excitement rivals that of Christmas Eve. They have meaningful conversations with their grandparents leading up to our visit, and we create cherished traditions together. While parting is always bittersweet, these reunions help us through the long months apart.
3. A Stronger Community
With both sets of grandparents living out of town, we quickly learned the importance of building our own support system. Our friends and neighbors have become like family, providing the help and companionship we need. While we would still have friendships if family lived closer, our connections run deeper because we’ve invested time with those nearby.
4. Creating Our Own Traditions
Despite our efforts to celebrate holidays with family, there have been times we’ve spent them just as our little unit. Those moments, like ordering pizza on Easter or enjoying cereal under the Christmas tree, have helped strengthen our family bond and create lasting memories.
While being far from family presents its difficulties, it also brings unique joys. Yes, the costs of holiday travel can be overwhelming, and navigating emergencies from a distance can be challenging. Yet, I’m grateful for the choice I made to nurture my own family tree, which has grown strong and expanded in ways I never imagined.
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Summary:
Navigating life away from family can be challenging, but it also offers unique advantages. From the absence of surprise visits to the joy of planned reunions, living far away fosters deeper community ties and creates cherished family traditions. While the distance presents obstacles, it ultimately allows for a strong family foundation built on meaningful experiences and connections.