May 17, 2023
A few days ago, my children and I had the most delightful morning at our local community pool. This expansive facility features multiple swimming areas, a splash pad, thrilling water slides, and a lazy river, making it a perfect spot for family fun. We met up with friends, and it seemed like a few hundred strangers were enjoying the day with us. Normally, I shy away from crowded places, but the allure of such a vibrant swimming experience was too tempting to resist.
Swimming pools have a reputation for highlighting our insecurities and differences. Interestingly, I didn’t realize this until we returned home. Surrounded by hundreds of people, I was completely unconcerned about my son, Ben’s unique needs or how others might perceive him. I didn’t notice any stares or hear any whispers; all I saw was Ben, his sister, and their friends having a blast together. The cheerful sounds of laughter filled the air while I caught up with other parents. It’s funny how this perfect moment could have easily been overshadowed by worries. I suppose it’s true what they say — ignorance is bliss.
I’ve heard that phrase throughout my life, often dismissed as a cliché. However, I now genuinely believe it contributes significantly to my happiness. Ben has a condition that makes him appear different from his peers. Over the past five years, his differences were subtle, but as he grows, they become more noticeable.
When I look at Ben, I see my wonderful little boy, not a person who stands out because of his size. Maybe this is part of my blissful ignorance. Our normal is filled with love and joy, and Ben embraces himself just as he is — much like any other child. We celebrate our uniqueness and venture into the world with unwavering support around us.
However, it’s undeniable that Ben is different from most kids. Our normal isn’t typical, and I’ve always feared the potential for stares, name-calling, and ridicule, which often accompany his condition. But what I didn’t anticipate was how my ignorance would shield us. Who knew that being blissfully unaware could feel so liberating? The harsh world outside doesn’t seem to affect us, and it’s not that we’re blind to the judgments; it’s simply that we choose to focus on our happiness instead.
Occasionally, I do catch glances directed at us. Yet, my ignorance transforms these moments into something positive. I interpret those looks as smiles or compliments, believing they appreciate what they see. Why should I think otherwise? Embracing this “not knowing” allows us to continue enjoying our day without worry. Seeing a glance as an insult can lead to unnecessary pain, so I choose to ignore it.
As Ben and his friends grow, I’m beginning to hear more troubling stories from other families with similar experiences. There are instances of direct mockery and cruelty, which infuriates me. I know my ignorance may not last forever, and we will likely face these challenges too. Yet, having enjoyed this blissful state for so long, I’m determined to learn from it, using it as a tool to navigate future encounters with grace.
As the reality of the world becomes more apparent, I’ll remind myself of this blissful ignorance. When faced with hurtful comments or gestures, I will choose joy over sorrow. I’ll remember that hurtful words come from a place of ignorance in others. The sting of those words won’t penetrate if I don’t allow them to. I have the power to choose my reactions. Choosing bliss means that the negativity can’t harm us as deeply. While these experiences may leave some scars, it’s entirely possible to rise above and choose happiness.
You might worry that opting for ignorance could mean missing opportunities to educate others or stand up to their cruelty. However, ignorance can still send a clear message that actions hold more weight than words. By embracing bliss, hurtful remarks become irrelevant, allowing us to move forward with self-assurance. Ben may be small, but he’s not a punchline. He radiates a larger-than-life presence in all the ways that truly matter. So feel free to stare; we have so much to show you.
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In summary, embracing the bliss of ignorance has allowed my family to navigate the world joyfully, free from the burdens of judgment. While we may not be able to escape the reality of others’ perceptions forever, we can choose how we respond. With love and support, we can face any challenge that comes our way.