Moms, Please Support and Protect Your Daughters

home insemination Kit

Parenting

Moms, Please Support and Protect Your Daughters

by Lisa Martinez

Updated: May 17, 2023

Originally Published: May 17, 2023

Trigger warning: This content may be triggering for those who have experienced sexual harassment or abuse.

I was just 11 years old, a summer day marked by my black one-piece swimsuit and damp hair. After a fun-filled day at the lake with family, we dashed into a nearby pizza joint to escape the heat. While my cousins and I crowded around the candy machines, I noticed a disturbance outside; my uncles were having a heated exchange with a stranger. My mind was preoccupied with thoughts of candy and pizza, unaware of what had transpired.

Later, I learned that my uncles had witnessed a man making an inappropriate gesture while I was bent over the candy machine. The whispers of my cousins filled me with a deep sense of shame.

I was that girl who matured early, unlike my classmates who still looked like little girls. While they had flat chests and slim legs, I developed curves that drew unwanted attention. Boys pointed out my size, and even girls joined in the teasing. At 5’4″, I was the same height as my fifth-grade teacher, making it difficult to escape scrutiny. Family members made comments about my developing body, and my mother’s apprehension about my femininity only added to my confusion. When I got my period at 10, my Nana playfully called me a “señorita,” but inside, I felt like a child who still wanted to play with dolls. The attention I received from much older men only intensified my feelings of discomfort and embarrassment.

“Excuse Me, Ma’am, Your Daughter Is Lying to You”

One hot afternoon, my daughter Mia, nearly 12 and full of sass in her overalls, and I were enjoying a chocolate bar in the car. After I asked her to dispose of the candy wrapper, she returned with a troubled expression. “Mama, that man over there whistled at me and stared at me while I walked across the parking lot. I felt so uncomfortable!”

I turned to see a man in his 40s grinning from a work truck. “Are you sure? Was there anyone else?” I asked, feeling my heart race. She confirmed it was just her and described the whistle.

Without thinking, I reversed my car right in front of his truck. The smile faded from his face as Mia shrank down in her seat. I rolled down the window and confronted him directly. “Did you whistle at the little girl in overalls? She’s only 11!”

Of course, he played innocent. I don’t remember all the words I used, but I was furious. It broke my heart to see my daughter shrink in fear. Why should she feel ashamed? Why should she experience this fear? As if to add insult to injury, he leaned forward and said, “Excuse me, ma’am, but your daughter is lying to you.”

With trembling hands, I drove home. It took a long time for my anger to simmer down. Over fish tacos, Mia thanked me for standing up for her, and in that moment, I felt a sense of pride for both her and the little girl I once was.

“Maybe It Was Your Fault”

The next day, I recounted the incident to a male friend, expecting support. Instead, he dismissed the man’s behavior. “He might have been whistling at someone else.” He even suggested I shouldn’t have confronted the man, implying it was my fault for putting my daughter in that situation. I felt a wave of emotions wash over me—anger, frustration, disappointment, and rage at the countless women who have been made to feel culpable for the actions of others.

Despite the turmoil, I choose to focus on one key aspect: I listened to my daughter. I didn’t question her or blame her; I simply validated her feelings. For more insights on supporting women and families, check out this informative article on home insemination. And if you’re interested in fertility options, Make a Mom provides excellent resources on boosting fertility. For those considering intrauterine insemination, Resolve offers comprehensive information on family-building options.

In summary, it’s essential for mothers to believe their daughters and advocate for them, especially when they encounter uncomfortable situations. Listening and standing up for them can make a significant difference in their confidence and sense of safety.