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I’m Tired of Mediating Your Arguments. Sort It Out, or Just Go at It. I’m Over It.
Back in the day, in my idealistic world where I believed “my kids would always get along,” I imagined a future filled with harmony, where my children would be the best of friends forever. I pictured them sharing everything with open hearts, cheering each other on in victories, and being gracious in defeat. I envisioned a peaceful home, free from the sibling squabbles that plague other families.
But then reality hit: I gave birth to kids who seem to be a mix of future MMA champions and passionate debaters. It appears they came equipped with an innate drive to fight, and while I once felt it was my duty to step in and intervene—especially to prevent my possessions from becoming collateral damage—I’ve officially thrown in the towel. The bell has rung, and I’m done refereeing their disputes.
When Did We Start Believing It’s Our Job?
When did we start believing that it’s our job as moms to intervene emotionally and physically in our children’s disputes? Growing up with two sisters, I remember plenty of drama—door-slamming, hair-pulling, and yes, even a few slaps. But I don’t recall my mom swooping in to mediate our differences. Instead, I can still hear her voice from another room: “Do you even see how ridiculous you’re being? Sort it out, girls.” And guess what? We did—without her help.
The Compulsion to Micromanage
Why do we now feel compelled to micromanage every little argument? Why must we analyze every conflict, find solutions, and ensure our kids are in a perpetual state of harmony? I even came across a viral post where a mom made her squabbling kids wear the same T-shirt and slow dance together until they reconciled. Seriously? I have neither the time nor the inclination for that kind of sibling therapy (and if anyone needs therapy, it’s definitely me). Life doesn’t work that way, and the sooner my children learn to navigate real-life conflicts independently, the better.
Looking at our society today, it’s clear that some parents may have over-involved themselves in their kids’ disputes, resulting in adults lacking the ability to engage in civil discourse or demonstrate compassion toward one another. I certainly don’t want my children relying on me or a third party to resolve their issues.
The Importance of Independence
This is especially apparent during the teenage years when social drama can escalate, leading parents to intervene in their children’s friendships. It’s crucial for teens to learn how to manage their social conflicts without parental interference. Let them figure it out (unless it crosses a significant line, which you’ll recognize), so they can cultivate essential skills for dealing with people they may not get along with.
I’m not uninterested or neglectful when it comes to my kids’ sibling bonds. I’m simply exhausted from being the judge and jury for every little conflict. Since I’ve stepped back, they’ve been resolving their differences faster and more creatively than I ever could. Go figure.
This newfound freedom allows me to focus on more pressing matters. Wink wink.
Further Reading
For more insights, check out this post on intracervicalinsemination.com and learn about the wonderful world of home insemination. For those considering this route, makeamom.com offers a wealth of information on artificial insemination kits, while nichd.nih.gov is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, it’s time for parents to step back and allow kids to learn conflict resolution on their own. By refraining from over-involvement, we can help them develop essential skills and independence.