Dear Family,

home insemination Kit

I’ve reached my limit. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a walking encyclopedia of where everything is in this house. Sure, I’m pretty clever and have a knack for catching you sneaking into my chocolate stash. I know you admire my skills, from the various ways I bribe you into doing chores to keeping things calm during those long car rides. I can whip up dinner, even if it’s not chicken nuggets — I’d say I’m quite talented at this whole parenting gig.

But when you’re practically peering into the fridge and asking if we have milk, while I can see the handle nearly poking your eye from across the room, my patience wears thin. This not-so-awesome side of me is not something you want to see.

You’ve all somehow perfected the art of misplacing everything. And your assumption that I know where it all is? It’s not a compliment. Honestly, I don’t even want to keep track of where everything is anymore.

And just a quick note: if you’re looking for the butter, it hasn’t moved — it’s still in the butter dish in the cupboard. If it’s empty, there’s more in the fridge. If there’s none in the fridge, we’ve run out.

I assure you, I am not rearranging items just to make your lives more complicated. I have a lot on my plate and no interest in turning this home into a scavenger hunt.

I can’t tell if you think it’s funny to get me riled up or if you genuinely believe I have a clue about where you left your favorite sneaker. Here’s the truth: I don’t know where your belongings are, and I can barely remember where I left my own keys half the time.

If you’re questioning whether we’re out of something, I promise it would be more productive to search for it yourself instead of yelling, “Mom! Where are my sweatpants?” How many times must I lose my cool before you realize this isn’t working for anyone?

Taking care of your things would surely help reduce this chaos. How about that?

So, please, dear children and partner, stop putting me in this position. It drives me just as nuts as it does you when I chime in on your video calls or belt out show tunes in public. Instead of dealing with one annoying person, I have four of you, all wondering where your stuff went.

When you ask for the milk that’s inches from your face, I’m just as perplexed. I can’t and won’t be your personal finder anymore. You’re capable of locating your colored pencils, so put some effort into it, sweetheart.

I’m busy trying to keep all of you alive and your schedules packed so you aren’t constantly whining about being bored — a talent I’m quite proud of. So, you can see why I can’t possibly take on the task of locating your library book.

Now, where the heck are my keys?!

If you’d like to explore more about this topic, check out this informative piece on home insemination kits or visit Kindbody for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination. You can also read the terms and conditions on our other blog post here.

In summary, it’s time for everyone to take responsibility for their belongings and stop relying on me to find everything. My patience is running thin, and I have enough on my plate.